What a long strange trip it's been.

Well, here I am in California. It's been very anticlimactic. Odd. I have referred to myself as "Going to Cali" since 2008 blogging on Myspace. A strange series of events. I knew I would go. I rarely to never talk about something and not do it.

 

Maybe I should bring things up to speed..............

 

 

Last I blogged I was in Durham NC. I left there in August and traveled across Kentucky, Tennessee and NC, visiting Asheville to see the Biltmore estate.

 

 

Biltmore is very beautiful. It's well worth the visit and would love to see it at Christmas. Then I went to Mammoth Cave National Park. Loved it there. I discovered caving and spelunking

and had a blast. I honestly think it is a great deal. All of the excursions and the cabins are reasonably priced and just a good time, hiking, biking, nature.... Next I was on to the Great Smoky Mountains. I climbed Chimney tops but I did not get all the way to the top. There has been erosion to the usual access rock and the alternate is not safe for me hiking alone.

 

This was the view from the top and it doesn't do it justice.

 

 

 

 

 

and this was the view from the bottom on the road.

Then I started my next assignment in Wilmington NC. My least favorite hospital by far but I got to spend time with my niece and her family. I even got to see my sister and her husband twice. I was by the beach which was a huge plus.

 

While I was there I visited Charleston

 

 

and Savannah

 

 

Two very beautiful cities.

 

Then I left for home in Pennsylvania. I got to spend several weeks home for November and December. It was nice to see everyone and I hadn't spent that much time at home since I started this adventure.

 

Knowing what a tough Winter my parents had the year before I was hesitant but I have been wanting to wrap up travel nursing within this year. So planning for an asssignment in Texas turned into a last minute trip across the country...............

 

 

More to come.

Unzipped

( I wrote this 3 years ago when I was recovering from a fall skiing and tore several ligaments. I recently found it and always liked it. It's especially appropriate because after a long hiatus from taking care of my physical body I am getting back into shape and it feels so good and long overdue)

 

 

I need to step outside of my worldly body right now.

 

I am unzipping my skin and allowing it to slink to the ground.

 

I reach my arms above me and lean forward to grasp the base of my head.

 

I dig my nails in deep into the layers of my skin and peel my scalp away like an orange peel.

 

Flesh and hair dangling and rolling down like several layers of thick latex being pulled off an old radiator painted over too many times.

 

Shaking my head loose as I lower the flesh from my face, like lowering a turtle neck overhead.

 

My eyes and teeth now bare and unprotected.

 

Peeking in the mirror I am not repulsed, for I am me.

 

No flesh will define who I am.

 

No color to my skin to denote a race.

 

No texture or clarity to my complexion.

 

No complexion at all.

 

Just staring eyes.

 

Unblinking and all seeing.

 

For, one can't miss a trick if one's eye are never again to close.

 

The freedom from my skin so enticing I want to remove the rest.

 

It comes easier now as I reveal my neck.

 

I'm pulling my arms out from the tight confines of my epidermus.

 

Degloving the layers down to my finger tips and freeing each finger one by one.

 

The soft supple tissue of my breasts now exposed as I continue.

 

Unraveling down my torso like I am wriggling out of a dress.

 

It's like Christmas morning uncovering my muscles, tendons and ligaments from their ornate wrapping realizing thats all it is.

 

A wrapping, a covering, a protection.

 

Peeling away down my legs like fishnets taken off by a lover gently on one leg and then ferociously on the other. Just to speed this to the finale.

 

As I stand bare and unprotected in my reflection.

 

I wonder what is a reflection.

 

It is simply our interpretation of our appearance.

 

I then remove my eyes from their sockets. Nestled in their home. Their place in my face and their role in me and my perception of me.

 

Me? Who am I? Well I am who I am, not who I see.

 

In essence aren't I just the soul that resides here. In this body. This being. This system of organs functioning to carbonize the air.

 

Continueing I grip the muscles of my legs and yank them apart like a fat man eating buffalo wings.

 

Snap, snap!

 

Tendons and ligaments resounding their anger in my choice to disassemble them.

 

Falling to the ground now because my legs will not support me, I continue.

 

I continue until I am as far as I can go before I can not disassemble any further.

 

Knowing I will never disassemble myself down to the soul, my physical limitations of such an endeavor alone are impossible.

 

But it is my soul I search for.

 

I want to expose it and parade it.

 

I want to rejoice in it's purity, and celebrate it's beauty.

 

For my soul is who I am.

 

Not any of the outward displays you see when you SEE me.

The Bath

Here

 

 

I wash my heart and head of you

 

 

The liquid streams over my organs

 

 

and bathes them, taking away the sting like an anesthetic

 

 

paralyzing and muting the nerves

 

 

I rinse away the pain

 

 

watching the pristine water become sullied

 

 

with pieces of us

 

 

the dirty used rotted remnants

 

 

The soil of your criticism

 

 

and my resentment

 

 

leaving behind the pristine we that once was

 

 

not so long ago

 

 

The we that was open and trusting

 

 

loving with reckless abandon

 

 

and wanton desire

 

 

leaving every memory alive