Have you ever said something that wasn't really you but it sort of made you become it?
Doesn't make any sense, I know.
We are all our own worst enemies. Convince ourselves of untruths. We tell ourselves lies all the time that we
"can't do that",
"I'm not good enough to.....",
"First I have to do x, y, z.... before I can a, b, c..."
We put things off and say the timing isn't right, I am not ready for this, need more money first ......
We get a perception in our mind, of perfection. A picture of how it's supposed to be, because we don't really know what the happiness will look like when we achieve whatever it is that we are fantasizing about. This applies to both women and men. Sometimes it's actually right in front of us and we totally miss it. Like the missing glasses on our head. They were right there the whole time and so was the happiness that we just didn't let in, because of our misconcieved perceptions of perfection.
It's truly amazing, the power of suggestion. We are hypnotizing ourselves all the time and leaving subliminal messages. It's horrible what we do to ourselves. We truly are the one thing in our own way of success in this life.
Its kinda like a type casting that you can't get out of. Usually you screw up and then you get put in that box. However when you put yourself there right from the get go its practically impossible to get out of it whether its true at all or a little or not.
I have two horrible extreme case examples from my life I wish I could change.
Example 1, My ex referred to me as his future ex wife, before we were even engaged. It was meant and to a degree recieved in jest, however when all you hear from someone is the jest and none of the real feelings it eventually defines the relationship and becomes all the feelings that person is expressing. I don't even want to delve into the hidden meaning behind him saying that and me accepting it and later marrying him. Rest assured that it affected my subconscious feelings towards him and the build up of resentments that later followed. We did eventually separate and divorce for many reasons including how he treated me. You see, the term became a self fulfilling prophecy for both of us. I'm not saying it alone was responsible, but when I look back at my failed marrriage it best explains how we were both at fault.
Example 2, I told someone my name was Trouble, literally. Again it was just kidding around, but it lead into a conversation of why I called myself trouble. I am not trouble. I am a good person. I am just like everyone else on this planet, trying my best at this thing called life. I called myself trouble because I am very complex and deep. By calling myself trouble, I was just hoping to be a sronger person. Some tough skinned rebel able to face anything and survive only scathing others. Yes, I have made mistakes and have wild side that I occassionally enjoy thoroughly, but I am far from trouble. This person and I became close but it went down in flames eventually and they believe that they knew me and I do believe that it largely had to do with their tainted perception of me as "Trouble", from the get go. No matter how hard I tried to get out of that definition, I couldn't.
So when you scream at yourself after a mistake, "I'm so stupid", "idiot", "dummy". We are just defeating a learning opportunity. This leads back to perceptions of ourselves and other's perceptions of us. These beliefs are reinforced by the things that we say or ..................................................................
We can change these perceptions, even change our realities. Change is very possible and I have figured out the key to it. Believe it, reinforce it..... Stop defeating ourselves from success.
I have heard of this mentality before several times. It's one of the Four Agreements on Don Miguel Ruiz books. Many authors of self help books have addressed this phenomena before.
Just stop and think. How many lies do we tell ourselves every day? Why do we believe that we are sooooo unworthy of anything that is out there for us? If you want to go do x, y, or z. There is NOTHING stoppng you but yourself.