Sunday, November 22, 2009

Woman's best friend is..................

Woman's best friend ............................ (revised and edited)

Her vibrator.

He'll never leave his towel on the floor
He'll never cheat on you
He'll never stand you up
He'll never break your heart
He'll make sure you get off before he does
He'll never forget your birthday

I don't care if you are in a committed relationsip or not. Every woman should own one and don't leave home without one. Vacations absolutely call for a toy.

If you are reading any of this and saying
"it doesn't apply to me", beacuse you always have a child around. Hey, men find time at least once a day.

Why do you have to be cheated out of your right?

Seriously a little release of tension makes Mommy a much calmer person.

Get a water proof one for the shower, no one has to know it's not the razor. It could be the stress releaver you need. Try searching for something extra quiet. Manufacturers have gotten very smart about targeting mother's needs.

Quiet, small, discreet ..... Nowadays everything exists. You wouldn't believe the stuff out there.

They aren't gonna show up like this either.........

Shop on the internet. Just google vibrators, or through a reputable supplier such as Slumber Parties.

At a demo you can try stuff out without purchasing.

No, you're not sticking any products into anything other than your hand but maybe a heating lotion sample in the bathroom.

Ahhh, the bathroom, thank god someone invented fancy detachable showerheads.

Bathtime isn't just for the kids.......................

Either way you can actually get a warranty, which leads to replacements for those of us who have to replace a couple times a year.

And as long as your kids understand simple privacy, this will never happen.................

Learn to devote some time to yourself.

Romance yourself. How many times do you put yourself last? Bubble bath and candle lights. You are allowed to spend your "me" time anyway you want to.

For those of us who are single, get a few pilllows. They're good for mounting, when you don't have a body to mount. Masturbation can create a great lead up to a sensual encounter. Use it before a party if you think you're gonna have social anxiety because you don't know anyone. No one has to know that's why you are glowing and so outgoing, yet don't know anyone there. Before a stressful meeting so you can land that deal.

If you are spending $75.00/month for a massage of manicures and not getting the fulfillment you once were, try spending the money that month on something different. It could rescucitate a sexless period in a relationship.


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