Saturday, January 16, 2010

Know it all's and Always right's

First is the "always right"'s. The worst part of it is how in being right whether or not they are, they make it all about that. Thinking that they are so much better. That if they are right they are superior to you and others and everyone. That lack of respect for you and your thoughts and feelings is what makes them ulimately truly WRONG in the ways that count. Their need to "win" at the cost of your feelings. High stakes. They see everything in terms of win/lose.

Life shouldn't be win/lose. If life becomes win/lose it's no longer about living. I just wonder what their life is like. Are these truly happy people? Or do they constantly find themselves unsatisfied and in search of perfection and absolute "rightness". I couldn't be a truly happy person with that sort of drive or pressure on myself. Basically never able to appreciate what I have in my life, instead always searching for the imperfections and pointing them out as if to say "see, I was right and you were wrong". People who are always right are most often the most wrong. Because to them everything operates for them and if it doesn't then its not working right or working at all.

Walking around and thinking you know everything causes a certain arrogance and blinds you to what life has to offer as a learning experience. They walk around totally closed minded to reality. Honestly too, how well does it work for you when you walk around assuming you're right all the time. You can easily get so cocky that you're more wrong and unwilling to hear the other side at all. Eventually being right becomes an arrogance and leads you into miscommunications and misunderstandings all the time then it turns into a hinderance. I imagine people who walk around thinking or even being right all the time think it puts them ahead of everyone else when in reality the hinderance it causes is worse than any positives you get.

Its like the person who goes to a funeral says to the corpse " I told you to wear your seatbelt". So their last words aren't "I miss you" but rather the last laugh.

Then there's the "know it all"'s. They think they see the other side because they can come back with the quick "well I know what you're gonna say". Paste and copy argument and fit it in here. They even use the same exact words everytime. When you just regurgitate what you've memorized you never even hear what you said. The thing is they never see that point of view, from orinigation to completion. Its as if they memorized it.

They say the best debater is the one who knows how to best argue the other side. Meaning you can take the opposing sides point of view and be better able to make a counter arguement point for point.

Its actually a sign of insecurity if you have to be right all the time and know everything. Seriously think about what insecurity is. Not being comfortable with yourself. So when you get that feeling inside where you think you might be wrong or do the wrong thing you just get all the more defensive because god forbid you be wrong or human. You can't accept yourself and your errors. Being able to accept and love yourself despite your errors is a great thing. How do people live on after an minor driving error leading to a car accident involving a fatality. They must find a way to accept that they were human and made a mistake. Some of them can't and they take their own life instead. Perfect example. I had a patient who fell off a ladder while intoxicated. The man had been drunk for the past 20 years after he left his infant son alone for one minute on Christmas eve and turned around to find him strangulated between the high chair and the kitchen table and he died. The rest of his family appeared to be ok but they had in turn been dealing with his alcoholism for 20 years after along with their own feelings

People think I am not opininated and I have walked around most of my life sort of believing that, but truth is I recently realized that I do actually have opinions. Strong ones in fact but I honestly make an effort to see the other side. Empathy. Once there it looks like I've given in and someone has won their point of view but no. I still believe mine I'm just civil and honestly understand what they are saying. There have in fact been times that I learned something too and changed my opinion.

I will never know enough in this world and will take any opportunity to learn something from every person I meet in Life. Never assume you are right. Learn that you are correct after you've "heard" the entire arguement. May you all be recieved by others in that perspective too.


  1. What a great post! I really enjoyed reading it, and I think it is a great reminder for all us of. Hope you have a great weekend. Just stopping by from SITS to say Hello.

  2. Thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked. Come back again there's plenty more to come :)