Monday, November 8, 2010

Sometimes the grass is just spraypainted greener on the other side (part 1)

Infidelity is not only for villains was my first blog on here and I still believe that it's true however............

I am in no way saying that it is not wrong to cheat. What matters most is how you respond to finding yourself in this situation. I have seen every different scenario as it pans out and I'm sure in time I will see more.

There's the chronic cheater who is incapable of monogamy.

The bored housewife.

The traveling salesman, the neglected spouse..............

It is human to cheat. It is human to fail at a relationship. It is human to handle it poorly. It is also human to handle it with dignity and kindness, because you still care about that other person, who may now be left behind to pick up the pieces. Possibly there is a chance at salvaging the relationship. I can't help but believe that there can be a chance.

The problem is that everyone involved has to want to salvage it. Most people don't have what it takes to do that. To turn your back on that high you are flying on when you have found someone who you think is the solution to everything that's wrong with your previous relationship. If you put that change and the effort into your previous relationship, and quite frankly yourself, it very well may have worked out too or at least ended dignified before an affair even occured.

Many people get lost in the situation and lose sight of it. It's never easy and never clean but it is in your control. You can choose to do something and be honest before anything ever happens with someone else. You can stop it when it is about to happen. You can stop it after it happens and say something or never do it again.

The thing is, their shit stinks too. Their socks are all over the floor. The sink is gooped up with toothpaste too. They don't get you flowers either. Their checkbook bounces too. Creditors hound their phone. They lose their physique.

I bet we all know some people who's fling failed miserably and maybe they even went back to their spouse.


  1. In the case of the traveling salesman, I have to wonder if maybe that type of personality doesn't deliberately pick a job where he'll be away from home. Have you ever studied up on commitmentphobia. There are men (and women) who suffer from it and many of them are the cheaters.

    Then there's the type of cheating I call "overlapping" -- someone finds someone new before getting out of his/her current relationship. It's a fear of being alone. They cheat, but only as a way to get out.

  2. Overlapping is the most pathetic of them all. Everyone loses, because those people will never be satisfied.