"Goin' to Cali!" aka Travel Nurse Extraordinaire

Travel Tuesday! 6/28/11

2011-06-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

Someone said to me not very long ago, "You're like Where's Waldo but it's Where's Kris"

I am currently in Durham North Carolina. I love the South, especially the Carolina's and I wanted to go to South Carolina but that license, which I thought would be faster, was taking longer. To get my North Carolina license it took 3 days on line. I got here several weeks ago and am already planning out the next location, to South Carolina. Preferably the coast. I would love to spend some time in Charleston and Savannah, which is very close as well.

My unwritten plan is SC then Cali then Hawaii then Colorado and then........ who knows.

I was planning to get away for some long weekends but ran into car trouble. Blog to come on that. Lol.

Childhood Obesity is still rising, Vegetable Gardens are dying and Media is thriving

2011-06-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

I was in line to check out at the hospital cafeteria the other day and I overheard a child, of at least the age of 10, ask his mother "what's zucchini?". I saw the child, overweight, holding a plate full of pizza and wondered "does he know what vegetables are?". The whole thing reminded me of the brief excerpt I saw of this show.

I think there are several areas where we are lacking. To start, I think the home garden is dying. Very few people garden anymore. It's a lost art and even fewer children are being exposed to a vegetable garden. I know that many communities ban vegetable gardens all together. Such a shame. Why not promote it in a designated area with a designated responsible person? If you're worried about the maintenance of it.

Then, of course, there is the home itself. If parents don't know it or practice it themselves then the children won't either.

We are on the heels of a change to the food pyramid, yet again. It seems like it changed only a few years ago. The agriculture of America as a business has a lot of influence on government including nutritional recommendations. So any changes are difficult to occur but slowly and surely they are. Maybe you're even asking, "Is it really necessary? Who cares about the food pyramid?". Well, yes, it really is necessary if children aren't aware of what vegetables are. I think it's going to take alot more than just changing the concept of the food pyramid.

It takes more than just removing soda machines from schools to affect a change in children's eating habits and preventing type 2 diabetes. Many schools are revamping their entire cafeteria menu. I remember lunch in school. In elementary school it was a brown bag and your parents ordered your milk by the semester. You got in line for milk and then sat down to your meal. Then when I went to public high school the cafeteria had pizza and fries and candy/snacks/vending. I saw some vegetables. They were usually overcooked, soggy, limp and soaked in buthttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifter. I don't recall ever seeing a salad except maybe a side salad with iceburg lettuce and carrot slivers.

In this day and age, indoor activities are growing like wildfire and outdoor activities are just the same. It seems like parents must battle the latest gaming system to get their kids out and about. The Media in general, computers, tv, game systems........ are far and away the number 1 activities of children above any physical activities. Here's an article from NPR Pediatricians Recommend a Media Diet for Kids to Fight Obesity.

If I had the place to garden I would and I fully intend on having a vegetable garden when I settle somewhere. Do you garden? Do you know many people who do? Ask a child about vegetables or where some of their favorite foods come from and see what your answers are. Do you know of any schools that have a garden? I know many children don't like vegetables but does that mean we have to promote that among them? There's no reason they can't have the knowledge and exposure.

Massachusetts Man Fired After Revealing His Wife Has Cancer - ABC News

2011-06-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Massachusetts Man Fired After Revealing His Wife Has Cancer - ABC News

There is a sad new phenomenon occurring across the US among businesses.

In this state of affairs when people live in fear of losing their job, seeing many friends and coworkers losing their jobs, people are worried and job security is practically none existent in most fields. It's bad enough that citizens are worried about job security when their loved ones are well BUT.........

now when they are not well also!

The following news piece was about a man fired from his job as an accountant for a Real Estate management company after 13 years and a recent raise. His wife was diagnosed with lung cancer and he requested a change in hours, so he could take his wife to appointments and treatments and work evenings and weekends to make up for it. His job claimed they were planning to fire him anyway, then following his dismissal they posted a listing for his job.

Apparently this is happening at an alarmingly increasing rate. Smaller companies of less than 50 employees are not covered under the The Family and Medical Leave Act. So there is nothing an ex employee can do about being fired by them. I have heard of this happening to women on maternity leave also. I personally think it's just proof that every single person is really just a $. Hopefully you are worth more to the company than you cost them! Shame on you Haynes Management of Wellesley Hills, Mass.

Happy First day of Summer Everyone

2011-06-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

The distant hum and buzz of a lawnmower.

Perhaps the lapping of waves against the surf as they crash.

Water splashing as children frolic, be it pool or shore.

The squawk of the crows and the friendly chirp of the finches fading in and out as they travel about the neighboring yards.

The clicking and electrical chirp of the crickets and the other audibly present insect companions of the heat.

Maybe a canine awakens from a temperature induced slumber to stretch and quench his thirst as his entire body suddenly lengthens to double it's size.

A welcome breeze kicks up laundry on the clothes line nearby rustling a gentle sigh as they toss to and fro.

While the wind chimes announce their song of idle time sitting and relishing the seasons beginning.

(Just a little something I found from a while back) Travel Tuesdays will start again next week.

I'm Back and a few Summer Safety tips

2011-06-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

After a long hiatus I am back. Hope everyone has been well. Blogs to come soon. Hoping everyone is having a great Summer!

Summer can be so much fun but what's even more fun is getting to do it again, which doesn't happen when your dead or injured.

If you know me then you know I am all about having fun and I will push the limits. One thing I have learned over the years and as a trauma nurse, that safety always comes first. Let's face it, it's simply no longer fun when someone gets hurts. It's also the number one way to get restrictions and limits to a once fun activity. Why do you think everything has a disclaimer. Someone out there acted foolishly and got injured or killed.

Keep in mind that with Summer and all of it's freedom's come many unsafe situations. So take a moment before all of your activities to stop and think have we covered all the safety steps before ............

We all say "stay safe" but what exactly do you mean?

A helmet is required when operating or riding anything on wheels or when the surface below your footing has increased potential for falling ie. snow and ice. When I say required I mean to protect yourself from traumatic brain injury. Regardless of your laws and how silly you might feel and even more so if you are not experienced then you should be wearing one. Also don't go beyond the recommended capacity of a vehicle so not everyone is securely seated. That includes golf carts, which are frequently used for transport at vacation spots.

Wearing a seatbelt whether you are going down the street to the gas station or a few blocks away to the ice cream store while on vacation.

Your judgement and reaction time is greatly reduced when intoxicated or even buzzed. Drink responsibly and no other substances while operating anything mechanized, lighting fireworks or grills or any water activities.

Lawn mower safety can easily be taken for granted since it's something you've probably done for years but mower accidents happen all the time. Always be cautious of children around outdoor lawn equipment.

Fireworks. What can I say? They are dangerous! Obey your local laws. They are ignited with fire, so always keep water near by for any fires and nondischarged fireworks. Only adults should be lighting them and only one at a time. They should only be lit in a clearing large enough that homes, vehicles and people can be double the distance of which it is known to reach. The area of lighting should be clear by everyone except the lightee and the lightee should be as clear as possible and immediately following lighting.

Water safety tips! Keep pool gates locked when not in use or at the least child safety locked. Wear life jackets during water sports. Never do water sports if you can't swim. Water is fun and one of my favorite activities but it is also inherently dangerous. When a child goes missing check the water first. Always keep supervision when children are swimming. Always obey life guard's rules. Never dive into a pool unless approved for dive/swim training by a coach. The minimum recommended for diving is 9 feet. That is not a widely accepted number and many pools may not be that depth. I will never forget the day a girl dove head first while warming up for a swim meet, nor will I ever forget every single spinal cord patient I have seen after a diving accident.

Children are small and hard to see when they are playing in their own yard/driveway. I have heard of backing into your parking space to prevent hitting a child when pulling out but they are still at risk when you are actively parking. Hence always be aware of children playing when parking or leaving a parking spots or driveway, whether you back in or pull straight in.

Be mindful of open windows, window locks/latches being open or loose to fall down on a child easily, or long hanging strings from blinds that toddlers can get their head caught in.

Hydrate in the heat and be aware of heat warnings.

Use caution when igniting a grill. Maintain your grill and check for leaks of gas or fuel.

Wear spf of at least 15. Nothing's worse than not being able to go out until the sun goes down and an Emergency room visit for a sunburn. Nowadays that's almost a no brainer but not long ago people wore butter and baby oil outside and no spf, literally cooking their skin!

When an insect stings, don't remove the stinger. Often times the stinger gets left behind without releasing the venom. Apply ice.

For Jellyfish stings apply vinegar.

Being safe doesn't mean you can't have fun. It actually means you can have fun again.

Sadly in the time I wrote this and posted it many accidents and fatalities have already occurred. One story in Pa about a 1 year old who drowned in a family pool. Be safe!

the Face of Happiness has a Posterchild

2011-03-09T07:21:00.000-08:00

Gallup has been polling people on a happiness survey. During their polling they found out several factors that seem to dominate the happy people. The happiest people are male, tall, Asian-American, observant Jew who is at least 65 and married, has children, lives in Hawaii, runs his own business and has a household income of more than $120,000 a year.

Then the New York Times searched for one person who fits that description and found him. Personally, I'm certain that there are other people that fit that description. I also think that there are other people who are completely happy and don't fit that description. Either way I think it's great to have good news in the news for once.

He is, Alvin Wong. He is a 5-foot-10, 69-year-old, Chinese-American, Kosher-observing Jew, who’s married with children and lives in Honolulu. He runs his own health care management business and earns more than $120,000 a year.

His key to happiness “my life philosophy is, if you can’t laugh at yourself, life is going to be pretty terrible for you.”

He continued: “This is a practical joke, right?”. He also spoke about waking everyday grateful.

I think alot of people out there suffering through life as if it's all a punishment might be able to learn something from this man's attitude. You don't have to move to Hawaii, if you take some time to laugh at yourself and be grateful :)

I would give my Left arm for an Irish potatoe right now

2011-02-28T07:21:00.000-08:00

What is an irish potatoe, you ask?

Well, they are only the most delicious thing to happen in the Winter next to the chocolate explosion of Valentine's day until Easter arrives.

Basically it's equal parts

Sugar

Butter

and Cocount flakes

then roll them around in Cinnamon

Apparently they are ONLY a Philadelphia thing :(

I was unaware of this before I started travel nursing last year. Good thing I am going back home for a visit soon :) Although the recipes are really that easy. I have done a few different twists too. One year Starbucks had some left over coconut flavor and they ran a feature drink named after the confection and flavored with coconut and cinnamon. I've recreated that and made a diet desert out of fat free ricotta, unsweetened coconut flakes, cinnamon and splenda. I'm sorry, I don't have a recipe for it. I always just went by taste.

Here's an orignal recipe for these amazing treats.

Ingredients
1/4 cup butter, softened 1/2 (8 ounce) package cream cheese 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 4 cups confectioners' sugar 2 1/2 cups flaked coconut 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

Directions
In a medium bowl, beat the butter and cream cheese together until smooth. Add the vanilla and confectioners' sugar; beat until smooth. Using your hands if necessary, mix in the coconut. Roll into balls or potato shapes, and roll in the cinnamon. Place onto a cookie sheet and chill to set. If desired, roll potatoes in cinnamon again for darker color.

I dare you to try them and eat only one. They're dangerous!!!

No Time to Waste, a Plea to save funding to Planned Parenthood

2011-02-16T12:28:00.000-08:00

Whether you are pro-life or pro-women's rights, no one can deny that Planned Parenthood treats millions of women and children per year who may othewise have little or no access to medical care. They can gain this medical care through government funding. There was a bill proposed in 2009 which failed. The Pence Amendment was voted on to stop all federal funding for Planned Parenthood and it failed to go through. Their hopes were to cut funding to all services in order to fight abortion. The bill has been reopened for voting this week!

Just last month there were several videos released to the media about a pro-life group which ran a sting operation. They caught several employees of Planned Parenthood abusing the government funding by assisting human traffickers in getting underage abortions among many other illegal atrocities. All of these employees were immediately fired.

I do not deny that what they did was wrong but cutting ALL federal funding is not the answer. These pro-life groups are using this as an opportunity to solve a totally different battle. There is a totally different problem here than funding. The problem is in the employees and Planned Parenthood is taking actions.

I also feel that any undercover operations should be handled by the authorities and not groups with any bias or agenda. The possibility for editing to favor their movement and the actions of their participants should most definitely be scrutinized. I believe that there were other parts of those videos not reported which do show empoyees upholding the laws and acting with ethics and standards adherent to the Planned Parenthood Organization.

There should be a policing of Planned Parenthood just as every agency recieving government funding. In the mean time they can not stop funding. It would make these atrocities even worse for effecting an extraordinarily larger number of people in a negative way.

Call and be counted. Tell your Representative how you feel. Tell facebook and spead the word.

Click Here

The Stylish Blogger Award and & facts about me

2011-02-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

Steph in the City has awarded me with the Stylish Blogger award!

Thanks Steph! Now I am to award it to 7 other bloggers and give you 7 facts about myself. Also, my laptop is fried due to a virus and I am using my boyfriend's for a few more weeks. So I really haven't been on here much.

1. I am the youngest of 8 children. Yes, I was spoiled alot and I was a total brat when I was young.

2. I love candy, all sugar and sweets and chocolate.

3. I ran a half marathon, once and have swam several races at the beach.

4. I collect tea cups and saucers. I especially love hand painted Asian ones with lithophanes imbedded in the bottom.

5. I couldn't write my name until 1st grade. My mom made little dots for me to connect on all of my Kindergarten papers.

6. I am addicted to massage. It's a wonderful therapy that I highly recommend to everyone. Wether it's aches or pains or depression/anxiety or to help with chiropractic adjustments.

7. I am a very loud talker, see #1.

I am passing this on to........

Elizabeth Grimes at One Magical Moment per Day

Linda at to Behold the Beauty

Taylee at Tay Talk

Hilary at The Smitten Image

Sandra at Absolutely Narcissism

Marsha at Coffee to Cocktails

A cop's wife at Nerdy Apple Bottom

It's Not My Problem

2011-01-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

I am not traveling to go to some new job all the time and try to fix them.

There are many times that I come across, inefficiency. I'm not there to fix that. Don't get me wrong, the thought to address it always pops into my head but again I am there as a visitor for 13 weeks. It's the dedicated hard worker in me, that always wants to go the extra mile. I will gladly go the extra mile for a patient but for a facility? No. Honestly even if I'm correct, how in a matter of weeks or days can I really know that they are being inefficient?

I learned after 15 years at the bedside in the same hospital, that it's not my job. That's why managers are managers and charge nurse are charge nurses and supervisors.... It's what makes a really successful charge or supervisor.
It's not worth the hassle. Unless it affects my patient's safety, I will simply do as they wish. I went above and beyond plenty at my job for years about little behind the scenes things, to improve simple efficiency.

I must say, I've learned to embrace this freedom and save myself uneeded aggravation. This isn't the kind of attitude I come to easily. I do struggle with it but, just as anything else you practice, it becomes easier. I come in to work and I abide by their guidelines and rules. I always do things, the way they want it done. Then I go home at the end of the day leaving the problems behind because, well quite frankly, it's not my problem ..................or is it? I am probably being far more efficient by actually just doing my job as they want it done.

I am lucky and unlucky enough to see a totally new crew of workers, styles of management and types of work order every few months. It's fascinating to see the differences in nurse's aids and secretaries and everyone from facility to facility. There seem to be alot of people who just get by at a job doing the bare minimum to keep it yet still stay employed. In fact at times getting rewarded along with everyone else.

Bottom line I think it absolutely takes every individual, whether they're management or whatever the role, to be most efficient Team possible. In medicine your own tasks often require more than one person. Each person must have a clear role and be efficient enough at it. Of course it helps to have an efficient manager but I don't think that a great manager alone is the best foundation. From the Environmental Services to the Dietary to the Physicians and the Volunteers, each person's role is vital.

Horrified Animal Lover (warning graphic photos)

2011-01-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

I have heard of tattooing your race dog or race horse. Racing animals or fighting animals is cruel but still goes on in this country. I have never seen any of these and really don't want to. I don't believe that they are always well cared for under these conditions.

To be honest, I believe there are better laws and regulations among laboratory animal care. With humane animal testing not only is there humaneness but a greater goal than "art" or simple selfishness. Some pet owners are more cruel than some race/fight animal owners or even laboratory animal testers.

I can understand a small simple mark to claim ownership. The mark should be carfeully placed in an area where the animal has little to no sensation. This form of ID should only be used when an eartag may be inadvertantly ripped off by the animal. Even better if the goal of research is to benefit the animals.

So, I heard a crazy thing the other day about a program ran on Animal Planet. I didn't believe it. Then I saw the photos. I was honestly horrified! I was also confused and had so many questions and speechless all at the same time. I admit that I found very few answers. I've searched the internet and the Animal Planet site and was unable to find the video or any reference to it. I don't understand why this is so unknown when yet there are numerous images on blogs and sites all over and an artist creating these works to "harvest" them. Yes, in his own words "harvest", which it turns out truly means that he kills these pigs for their tattoos to frame as wall art later. He saves these pigs from a Chinese slaughter house only to sedate them and decorate them and then terminate them when their skin has stretched the tattoo to his liking, all for the soul purpose of Art.

These owners of tattooed pets and animal tattoo artists claim that animals skin is less sensitive due to many layers and that they sedate them anyway. Sedation of any creature has it's side effects and risks and I'm not sold that science has proven their skin less sensitive. Sedation and tattooing of a creature unable to make their wishes known is cruel and unnecessary.

I have contacted both Animal Planet and the American Veterinary Medical Association for any information and sources they have. I will post a follow up later.

I'm not saying to give up pet ownership or Zoos, although I totally understand that point of view and once stood on that side of the fence. If you stop to think about all the things we put our pets through for the sake of ownerships and pure selfishness, it makes you wonder if we are doing them any diservice, ie. grooming, shaving, clothing, training and now tattooing...

Where do we draw the line?

Martin Luther King Day, Honoring Heroes!

2011-01-17T08:01:00.000-08:00

What does Martin Luther King Jr. mean to you? His voice was necessary and his achievements were great. He made equality for all an absolute with just one voice that became many.

We should use this day, this man's memory, to honor all heroes and in fact allow ourselves to be inspired to find our own inner hero.

Without him and others like him, the most influencial leaders in history would be made up of one less great person. With people like Hitler, Napoleon, Ghengis Kahn we need to keep alive the Legacy of the great people, like Martin Luther, Joan of Arc, Ghandi. Any of these leaders could have led the world anywhere they wanted. Some of them chose the greater good of man and some of them chose to destroy mankind.

We are all capable of great things. Even great things within the confines of our lives. All of the most magnanimous people in history were made just like each and every one of us. Some came from alot less opportunity than what any of us have but they never gave up. They made a choice. What if Hitler put his efforts into goodwill? What of you actually followed your crazy unrealistic dreams? What if your kid is saying they want to be President of the United States? Stop defeating the good and embrace it. He was one voice that made such a loud and necessary statement. I think he taught me that we all are one loud voice with the potential to do and say so much if only we say and do it!

It took one man to stand up, state "I have a dream............".

The Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial in DC will be open in August for contributions via website, text or toolbar go here
.

Saving Lives through vaccination!

2011-01-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

Maybe you've heard the claim before, that vaccines are dangerous. Not too long ago I watched a tv program about the claim that vaccines cause autism. This is completely unfounded and false, as this program also reported. Recently on facebook a Physician friend of mine posted a link to a report released this week from Britain.

Study Linking Vaccines to Autism Is "Fraudulent"

The report was of an in depth study proving how the originally claimed study falsified their report and the head of that study recieved financial gains. This doctor lost his medical license in Britain and is now living in the US. Jenny McCarthy is supporting this physician so many people are accepting his claims.

It appears the average person is more willing to believe a celebrity endorsed spokesperson rather than someone backed by the entire medical community. This fake is not only killing children but also an opportunist preying upon the parents of autistic children and regressing the movement to diagnose, cure and spread awareness about Autism.

Sadly the damage is done and irreparable in many cases. Children have lost their lives and many many many more innocent lives will be lost to this monster's selfishness and irresponsibility.

Many people think that if they google, read or hear something, then it is true and accurate. You can never believe just anything. Proper research is so important for this very reason and no one can argue with the shear number of deaths of children from communicable diseases vs the actual number of known vaccine reactions.

How often do you just take something for face value? Do you ever question things that people tell you or even question yourself about beliefs that you always thought were true and one day found out weren't?

Travel Teusday 1/11/11 "I still have too much stuff"

2011-01-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

Friday was my last day of work in Pittsburgh. Wow, did that fly! It had a lot to do with being so busy, going away out of town alot, the holidays, my dad falling, my mom's stroke.

I'm still quite the newbie with travel nursing but 13 weeks goes fast. There are plenty of assignments that are even shorter but the housing for those is usually unpleasant. So, I'm back in Connecticut and starting at Yale again. It has it's pros and cons but I'm here and with my boyfriend for 13 weeks, plus a little time off before and after. We're planning a tour of Italy in April.

In the last few weeks coming up to now, I did have a chance to do a little site seeing. I made it to the Andy Warhol museum to see the Marilyn Monroe exhibit, which was amazing. I wanted to get to the Carnegie Museum of Art and Natural Science, and Fallingwater by Frank Lloyd Wright. I hope to be back some day to get to all of those.

I made it to the Duquesne Incline and a wonderful dinner on Mount Washington showing a panoramic view of the entire city.

The one thing I am learning fast more than anything else, is to simplify. I am becoming much less material. I'm not hanging onto "things". It was something that started for me back when my marriage ended and we sold the house. I didn't want to bring that life into my future. I just wanted to move on. I was also moving from a 3 bedroom townhouse with an attic, basement and garage full of "stuff" into a one bedroom apartment. There was no easy way to fit everything and I was glad for it. It made me have to choose what was most important. It also prepared me for the amount of downsizing for travel nursing.

Moving this time was one very full car load in my SUV when I arrived and now as I left I downsized even further. The next trip will be even less. I have no interest in hurting my back moving every 13 weeks and spending any more time than necessary packing and unpacking.

When I get rid of stuff or when I buy "things" anymore I really wonder do I need this and did I really need this when I bought it. I know a number of people who live simply with as little belongings as possible. Is that the answer to being fulfilled? I am by no means a hoarder. I just have 39 years worth of belongings in a storage unit and along with me. How do you feel about things? Do you own alot of "stuff"? Do you know any hoarders? Are we trying to fill a void everytime we buy an item?

What are they thinking? Camden prepares to cut police force by 50%!

2011-01-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, not only the most crime ridden city of New Jersey but the HIGHEST crime rate in the nation, is cutting their police force in half!

Are they honestly insane? I don't care what alterior plan they have, it's just plain stupid!

Camden borders Philly on the other side of the Deleware river as you enter New Jersey. It's totally unfair that they have chosen such a foolish plan to budget with lives instead if money.

Philadelphia will always hold a place in my heart no matter where I live. I grew up far away from the inner city, just outside of the border in a very nice suburban neighborhood. Center City was always a reasonable train ride or car trip away.

As far as cities go, Camden is sort of along the lines of an armpit. Philly on the other hand does have many upsides and better neighborhoods within it's borders and just outside but this just can't be good for any part of Southeastern Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

I plead that the powers in New Jersey's government don't allow this to happen.

Ode to Snow

2011-01-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

[photo credit the theory of life]

small and light

floating

weightless

suspended in the chilly air

the sky, grey

as if full of moisture

ready to explode

birthing it's crystaline creations

gently

onto the cold frozen earth below

blanketing the land

with it's friendly welcome to December

come play

come dance under my beauty

let me float around you

days of youth

spent as angels

dogsledders

olympic lougers

sweet memories

and new meomories to come

Be safe and Happy New Year's

2010-12-31T08:00:00.000-08:00

It goes beyond, "Never leave your drink unattended"

2010-12-28T17:59:00.000-08:00

I really wish I had the time to do this properly but I simply haven't had time to work on my blogs and I've run out of already prepared ones.

I had to post this one this week because of it's pertinence and the dangers out there. I have wanted to do a several blogs about alcohol. I am by no means a saint and I'm not proposing prohibition but I do think one can never be reminded often enough of it's dangers. This is only one of them, Impaired Judgement.

I can't help but feel that drinking has a great potential for danger and it seems to have grown. More young women are drinking on tv and acting out of control. I can't help but think that young girls and maybe even boys are getting an impression that they don't need to be getting.

I think girls think that drinking is harmless. I also think that maybe some guys think a drunk girl is an easy target. I had my number of out of control partying when I was young and I was ALWAYS with people I knew and trusted.

Let's not forget the stories of women like Natalie Holloway and I have to be honest, good men usually hate having a drunken date to have to take care of while they puke and stumble and pass out.

It goes beyond never leaving your drink alone anymore.

You decide.

(The following was reported in the Pennsylvania Beaver County Times. Since this just happened I suspect it will get even bigger as it spreads in the news. I have never heard of this in the news. I doubt that it's the first time but you can't even trust the bartender anymore.)

Police: Ambridge rape caught on tape
December 28, 2010 12:30 PM

AMBRIDGE — Ambridge police say they were able to view the details of a rape in a borough bar early Sunday before charging a bartender with the crime.

In court records filed Sunday night, police said James Sumpter continued to feed drinks to the reported female victim until she passed out in the bar after it was closed; once the woman passed out, video taken from security cameras in the bar appeared to show he raped her.

Sumpter, 37, of 939 Beaver Road, Second Floor, Ambridge, is charged with rape and unlawful acts related to liquor and malt beverages, meaning he continued to serve alcohol to a visibly intoxicated customer.

Have a Happy Healthy and safe New Year's!!!!

Update on Mom

2010-12-26T17:38:00.001-08:00

It turns out she had stroke on the mri but her syptoms are greatly improved so it really wasn't bad but apparently she still had a clot in her carotid artery surrounded by plaque. So the vascular surgeon decided to take her to the OR for carotid endarterectomy, alot of lay people call it a roto-rooter. Which it basically is, it's the removal of clot and plaque from the carotid artery to prevent any disruption of blood flow to the brain again.

Here's a great video for anyone who likes visuals. My sister played this for my mom and dad from her phone. They used to enjoy watching televised surgery when surgeries were first showed on pbs. We actually recorded surgeries on vhs, way back.

Dad hasn't seen her except for the video of her I took on Christmas day. I took a video greeting of each of them on my phone to show the other, since he's still stuck at home.

I found out they were going to do surgery on Christmas day and asked work about getting Christmas off and then the day for surgery was moved to Sunday but they still gave me the 2 days off to get home and see her. I mostly stayed with my dad and made sure he was ok.

She did great. Surgery was a total success. She'll be home tomorrow or tuesday! She's so very lucky! Lots of support and prayers!

The Magic of Christmas

2010-12-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

A gentle fire roars it's mighty flames, low but majestic.

Childrens voices distant melody rings throughout the air.

Cold frosty windows fog from the warmth within.

Multicolored lights glow in the reflection of the glass balls dangling from crisp pine branches.

Outside the snow floats through the air effortlessly, never landing or disturbing the roads. Just present upon the ground and riding on the night air like stars in the vast darkness of the heavens.

It's Christmas.

There is a joy and love in the atmosphere which can not be described. It can not be captured in a bottle, a gift, or a photo. We can only pass it along as love. Go about your Christmas and stop yourself from yelling, short temperedness or cruelty. Love your loved ones as your Christmas gift to them first and make their material presents the icing on the cake. Also take a moment to be thankful and think of those who have no one or nothing in their live, giving to them as well.

Merry Christmas!!

A few of my favorite Christmas memories

2010-12-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

My father's train set.

Watching the train whiz by puffing fake smoke into the air. The sounds of the train against the tracks. "Chug, chug, chug, chug..." The little whistle of the engine. The lights and fake snow lit up in the darkness and a fire glowing in the fireplace. This is a toy train at my work cafeteria that I videoed for my boyfriend's father because he loves trains.

Christmas caroling.

I actually went around our neighborhood singing. I loved singing Christmas carols. We would stop by the church convent and rectory. It was just a group of little kids no formal adult organized us. We just wanted to sing door to door because we loved the season.

Our tree.

We always had a real one and we waited til after the second week of December. It also worked out that we never had a tree or decorations up for my birthday. I don't think that was intentional but I did like not having my birthday overshadowed or Christmas undershadowed.

Christmas breakfast.

Just as much as Christmas dinner was a feast, so was breakfast. I even ran around the house ringing a bell to wake everyone up early so we could start the day as soon as humanly possible! Yes, I was a brat!

Christmas music.

We had an old stand up wooden stereo that my parents played records on until it collapsed after some 50 years. We would play everything from Vienna boys choir to Mitch Miller's sing along! This was long before radio stations played Christmas music from November 1st on, so you got nauseous of Christmas music. No one should ever have to get sick from too much Christmas music. I honestly think they are going to ruin people's love for it.

Baking Christmas cookies.

I love baking but most of all I love making cut out cookies and I'm certian my love of those came from baking Christmas cookies. The moments spent decorating and bonding with the my mom and sisters were priceless. I could go on but won't. What are some of your favorite memories of Christmas?

May you all enjoy your holidays and remember to be thankful for what you have and those in your life.

Mom and Dad

2010-12-22T13:14:00.001-08:00

Last night I woke up late in the middle of the night. I lay wide awake from 4:30 until close to 6:00.

One of the reasons I started blogging is to quiet my mind. I used to write all the time when I was younger. It never became polished or mature. I'm not sure when I got away from it.

I laid in bed awake becoming increasingly more and more stressed as I worried, which led me to be more and more awake. I should have gotten out of bed to write. It often helps, but I didn't.

I couldn't help but keep thinking about my parents but mostly my mom. Yes, my mom. My dad is trudging along with his recovery after 3 weeks of hospitalization. However being hours away from them, I really don't know how well he is doing until I see it with my own eyes. I did however hear how mean he was being to my mom when I stopped there over a week ago.

I love my parents. I love my father but he has many downfalls as we all do. He can be a real grouch when he's miserable and he's down right miserable right now.

It's taking a toll on my mom. I know it is. I've seen it. We've all discussed it. I told my dad that he is being mean, in case he was unaware of it.

I just hung up the phone after talking to my mom in the hospital. She had a TIA today. A TIA in a mini sroke or forewarning to a stroke. Basically the symptoms resolve quickly. She looks healthier than my dad but looks are often decieving. She's the one I worry about the most. She's no where near as resilient as my father and she has the high blood pressure and Diabetes. When this whole thing started with him, I was honestly more worried about her. Being alone, would she wear her life alert button like she swears she will? Is she feeling well? Are you eating and sleeping ok?

I know TIA's aren't so bad, thank god, but it's what you do afterward that counts and honestly your risks for a stroke increase greatly and her risks are already very high. On top of it all, we just had a patient with a TIA who developed into a massive stroke. So not all TIA's are minor.

I know they will die someday. I think about that. I see death and suffering and illness everyday. Being exposed to that on a daily basis makes you have to detach somewhat from emotion. You can't think about the people in that ICU bed as a mother or father. That can make it hard to handle when it happens close to you. I know that their days are numbered just as much as my own. It's why I say live life to it's fullest every day and appreciate those in your Life. We don't know when our time is going to be up.

"You get Santa Claus and I don't......"

2010-12-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

I intend no insult towards anyone or their beliefs. This post is meant solely for discussion purposes. I would also like to wish a belated Happy Chanukkah to everyone who celebrated! Happy Kwanza, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

"You get Santa Claus and I don't... He doesn't come to our house" pouted my little friend down the street.

I was about 10 years old. She was about 8. I didn't understand and neither did she.

I grew up with a large population of Jewish families and Catholic families. I didn't understand what Jewish was for a long time. As far as I was concerned we went to different churches and ate different food. It wouldn't be until 9th grade when I adamantly entered our township's public school system (I had been through 8 years of Catholic school already) that I would begin to learn what Judaism really was.

I never blog about religion and very carefully discuss it among people I don't know. I have very personal beliefs about religion. I consider myself to be spiritual but not religious. Mainly because, as far as I know, there is no religion or definition for what I believe and I honestly haven't experimented enough with foreign religions, ie, Buddhism....

Many people complain about the commercialism of Christmas and I don't deny that at all. Do children know what they are celebrating at Christmas? Do adults? I wonder how many people actually attend a Christian service on Christmas? What do you think? It reminds me of the one Sex in the City episode. The one where Charlotte celebrates her last Christmas before becoming Jewish for Harry. Could you give up you Santa? Could you give up the presents for another person, or for your religion? Do you think that it's too commercial and has lost almost all of it's origin? Is it too materialistic?

Travel Tuesday "My birthday in DC"

2010-12-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's travel tuesday folks and that means time for a quick update on my life as a travel nurse!

The long and the short of it is that I went to DC to celebrate my 39th birthday and stopped back home on my way in. I saw my dad, who was discharged home from the hospital the day before. He had been in for 3 weeks! I was so happy to see him at home but wow he's so miserable. It's just gonna take alot of time and patience for him to heal.

The next day I was off to DC. I spent that night with my niece and her boyfriend. We went to an outdoor Christmas fair. Walked around downtown and looked at the City's tree. They have 50+ smaller trees surrounding the main tree. These trees each represent the 50 states and several territories and are decorated individually with their appropriate decor.

We went to a place for dinner called Bon Chon. They make the most delicious chicken! I would describe it as candied and deep fried.

There's also one in NYC.

The next day I got to enjoy two of my favorite activities, Drag show brunch! Food and a show, it doesn't get much better. Honestly, if you've never seen a drag show, you really must!

Over the next few days I got around to several museums. The highlights of which, were The Newseum and The National Museum of the American Indian. Both of these are fairly new museums. The latter has an extraordinary volume of information. A very extensive and interesting collection of all natives to the America's. A museum I highly recommend to everyone! It's the most recent addition to the Smithsonian museums, which by the way are all free.

The Newseum was not free but well worth the money. The largest museum collection devoted to the media in all of it's forms. The evolution of tv and all written materials. A timeline spanning the earliest books all the way to the news today via the internet. They had an entire floor devoted to Katrina. There's a large piece of the Berlin wall

and the antenna from the top of the North tower of the World Trade Center salvaged after 9-11.

Please note the back wall. It is all the front pages of newspapers reporting 9-11. They had a similar display at the Katrina exhibit. Both were chillingly surreal.

All in all a great time. I will revisit my trip in a follow up blog later about my Birthday dinner!

What do you want for Christmas?

2010-12-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

Are you done your holiday shopping? Don't know what to get someone? Dread the holiday shopping?

There are a few tips for the shopping impaired, namely men. Hey, it's not my fault and I really don't mean to generalize but really come on.

Here's a few tips for anyone who is shopping challenged.

1. Know who you are shopping for. Find out something about them if you don't know them well. Buy them an item used in a hobby they enjoy.

2. Repeat past gifts. If it was a hit before it will be a hit again, unless you have bought that same hit every. single. year. for 10 years.

3. Don't buy something practical. It's not the season to buy a useful gift for cleaning or ..... UNLESS, they actually ask for it, or like my fathe, enjoy practical gifts and while we're on the same topic..........

4. DO buy what they ask for!!!! AKA ask them what they want!!!!!!!!

Now on that note, what do you want?

Me? There's honestly nothing on my list. I have become less material but I also buy myself anything I need. Most of the things i want most aren't tangible.

My interpretation of this season is really more for giving. I enjoy giving a great gift. I don't enjoy getting my hopes up and being let down, so I really don't do that. I am happy getting anything at all. I definitely think Christmas should focus on children. It's really a holiday for them.

May you all recieve the most precious and important gift of all, Love.

I'm on vacation in DC

2010-12-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

So I'm in DC for a few days having fun. I haven't had the chance to check in and read too much here. So I will be catching back up on everyone's blogs later this week.

The last time I was here was with my ex for the day several years back. One day was too short. The first and only other time, was high school for an overnight trip with the German exchange students.

I didn't appreciate this city back then. Hell, I didn't appreciate anything back then. Let's not even get started on our exchange trip to Germany.

Have you ever wanted to go somewhere that you went to as a kid and wished you had paid attention and took a real interest in?

Can I do better?

2010-12-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

Canidobetter.com is a website about couples. Really, it's a singles site in disguise. I say that because every link you click on there takes you to a sign up page for singles. Which makes this even more cynical. It's basically a site about mismatched couples.

but beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

I was driving to work and heard the morning show. You know, every city has a morning show. They were talking about this site. The dj actually sent his photo of him and a photo of his wife, so that people could vote on whether or not they could do better.

I couldn't believe it. Ok, I could believe it, but I thought it was very disheartening. I was sad for the people who decided to go there and post their pictures. They will never find happiness. In their mind all that they see in their mate is their exterior. Honestly, if someone needs to use this site to feel better, then they should just end their relationship and seriously get help for their insecurity.

Now as far as the comical application of this site, it's a great idea. I just don't think that everyone is using it for humor and entertainment.

Thankful Thursday quote-

"Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life."
-- Christiane Northrup

Wikileaks, are you next?

2010-12-08T08:00:00.001-08:00

I had originally set out on a blog about the wikileaks. Then as I discovered more and more about it, I realized I had it wrong. So that's a blog for another time, but what got me started was the headline of many articles suddenly diving into the leaking of secure information and whether or not a business is at risk.

Back home several years ago, we had a teenager who hung themselves and didn't die for several days. There were many employees who felt they were doing no harm in looking up the medical chart of this patient. Claiming sheer curiosity, they wanted to see what happened to this child who lived near them, or went to school with their kids... They all had excuses and reasons, until they were fired.

The facility in turn decided to police all log ons and computer use. They warned everyone that it is never appropriate to look up a patients records unless you are directly involved in their care. They strictly enforced this and access to your OWN records. That meant looking up your own labs, mri's... were all restricted and in fact would be penalized.

The funniest was my mom. Mostly she would say "so and so is in the hospital, you should go see them while you're at work", but she used to ask "how is so and so?" I guess she followed my lead after she realized that all I will give out is the same medical status that the media and public have access to, critical, gaurded, stable.....

The bottom line was, it's WRONG!! I have unlimited access everyday to private medical records and I don't abuse it. In fact I do everything I can to protect it. It's also why I rarely write about a patient. I can neuter their gender with a "they", "themselves".... I can hide their identity behind initials K.B., B.G......, although I prefer pt x. It's just even further detached from the original person. I read many blogs from nurses who've blogged about patients and take the least precautions. It would be different if I had only medical professionals as readers. I might blog more about patients, but for now it's really just to explain how important life is and that your loved ones aren't here forever.

So is your business next?

Travel Tuesday

2010-12-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it's pretty early for looking at the next job but I figured why not think ahead. My recruiter called the other day. No, I haven't changed yet mainly because this company has alot of the jobs out west which will be benificial to me when I go out there.

Anyhow she called and asked about the next assignment. I want to spend some time back in Connecticut with Mike. I really miss him and need to spend time together.

Well, it just so happens that there's a position there at the unit I want and pays more.

It was just after 5 on friday, but I decided to leave a message anyway so I'd be the first she'd hear come monday morning. I left a very succint message and gave the highlights of why she should call me back to interview and it wouldn't be a waste of her time.

I guess I did too good of a job, becuase she offered me the position without an interview!

As far as everything else here, the weather has changed significantly and snows every day. Just flurries and mostly a light layer on the ground. I'm going home this weekend and then spending several days in DC with my niece and some travel nurses that live there. Its my birthday next teusday. I wanted to go away and do something different. I was thinking about Vegas maybe but decided on DC.

Stay tuned!

Beaky Buzzard!

2010-12-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, it was change your profile pic to a cartoon character for the weekend in support against child abuse. A friend of mine had a great idea that goes beyond bringing attention to it. At this time of year and while it's fresh in people's minds, it's a great opportunity to donate a few dollars to a child abuse organization such as Darkness to Light.

I was very torn about what to pic. My first instinct for some odd reason was Penelope Pitstop.

I loved her as a little kid, my second instinct was torn between Gosamer

and while searching I found my favorite cartoon EVER! It beats out any episode of any cartoon ever. I have very few if any top favorite anythings but this cartoon is my very absolute favorite cartoon and I just wanted to share it. I LOVE youtube!

Here's an update for anyone who says it's a scam and/or claims that it's a way for pedophiles to access.....blah, blah, blah.............. It started as a harmless scam and then people added a twist saying that pedophiles would get to your childrens photos. Check this rumor and scam debunking site. It just proves don't always believe everything you read or hear but really what's the harm in some child abuse awareness?

http://www.snopes.com/computer/internet/cartoon.asp

New facebook

2010-12-05T16:30:00.000-08:00

Facebook is changing again. Yes, again! It goes live today.

This is the original faceook looke. I joined after this one. It's changed many many times since that.

It'll be more personalized. Something similar to the old myspace. Something I always liked about myspace was the personalization. Your page was kinda like your room. Remember all the time you would spend decorating your room while growing up? I guess it was more of a girl thing, but I think guys did it too, just different.

Actually, it's not that bad. Change is good. I love change. It means improvement.

The thing that concerns me, as they pointed out on 60 minutes last night, is the privacy. It has always concerned me to have the names of your family members, photos and there locations........... There are countless ways that privacy needs to be protected. I have never been one to hide in any way but I did turn my profile semiprivate a ways back and I rarely accept a friend that I don't know in person. I do wonder though about the pages that you "like". Are these pages aloud access to all of my information? Or can I restrict their access?

If it's up to me to restrict, then how? Seriously, I have a long list. Do I have to go through and restrict each one individually? I have thought about emailing them about privacy and what can I do, but I'm pretty sure it'll be a standard response and probably take awhile to get back to me too. Ultimately my privacy is in my own hands.

I am planning on doing a privacy overhaul. I think it's long overdue. Whether I need to or not. One can never be too safe.

Happy Facebooking! Oh and there will be a tutorial available. Like they did last time, they will also be giving you the option to keep your old page.

Somtimes the grass is just spraypainted greener on the other side (part 3)

2010-12-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

Can you see yourself honestly or do you see the over inflated ego version of you or is it the repressed and self defeated version? It's very difficult to be a self critic.

I was going through my blog posts and drafts page. I really wish I could list the posts and drafts separately, since I have alot of drafts that haven't seen their day yet. That's besides the point.

I saw The Grass is greener posts, Part 1 and Part 2 and had another though. Beyond having to fertilize our relationships and nurture them. It expands on the fact that you should be working on yourself.

The whole point to grass being greener or not, really comes down to perspective. If you are looking at the grass you're looking the wrong way.

Isn't it when people are at their lowest when they find themselves "falling" into something with someone outside of their relationship. I believe if a person is looking at how sad they are and how everyone let's them down and whoa is me, that's the time when you will see grass looking greener.

When really you need to flip the perspective and look within.

I don't mean to be cruel, but maybe this could help someone. If you find yourself fighting all the time and seriously unhappy and all you can ever think about is how wrong the other person is. If you've found yourself in this situation before and how everybody else looks better than the person you're with in ever way. Then take some time and take a hard serious look at yourself and ask yourself if you change YOURSELF not others, could that maybe be what's wrong with your life?

If the relationship you're already in could be the great thing that you have always wanted, but it just needs a more mature version of you, isn't it worth a try. Personal growth is a very valuable thing!

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
-- Author Unknown

Travel teusday

2010-11-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick update while I'm still on vacation for Thanksgiving. I made my flights and made it to dinner without any problems. Thans to the wonderful forethought of someone in Philly. Years ago they created a train line that continues out of center city to each airport terminal. Why other cities don't have that is beyond me. Its one of my favorite things about Philly.

Got to see my dad in the hospital. What a crappy way to celebrate the holiday on top of feeling like crap. Its gonna be awhile 'til he's home. I was considering calling the airline to do a family emergency request and not fly to Florida on saturday but I flew anyway.

Now I'm here til tomorrow with my boyfriend at his parents place. Beautifl weather and relaxing.... No special plans.

I wouldn't have had a problem staying in Pittsburgh alone for the holidays. I could have thought of many good ways to spend it or even just worked so others could have off. Its more for everyone else that I came home or went to Florida. I wanted to volunteer for a feed the needy. I knew with traveling there'd be times I couldn't get home.

You say tomatoe and I say toe-ma-toe

2010-11-29T09:43:00.000-08:00

There's an annoying commercial on the radio and I thought I would share it with you. They're talking about a caramel latte. The woman corrects the man that It's Car-a-mel not Carmel, stating that "Carmel is a city in Indiana". A person can definitely pronounce it according to it's phonetics and still be correct. Here is the phonetic dictionary pronounciation.

car·a·mel /ˈkærəməl, -ˌmɛl, ˈkɑrməl/ Show Spelled
[kar-uh-muhl, -mel, kahr-muhl] Show IPA

I can't stand being corrected. It's one thing if I am actually mispronouncing a word, then please please let me know. I hate mispronouncing almost as much as being corrected.

The thing is, more often than not I am corrected for another's personal preferrence of dialect. At least that's how I feel. I am from Philly. It's not a stark Philly accent, but it's obvious with certain words, like "water". I don't care if people point it out and we chat about it, but don't correct me.

I like to think of myself as having good diction. I am very auditory and enjoy reading aloud. I find it almost derogatory and in fact I will not correct another person unless they are actually mispronouncing either.

Do people correct the way you speak? I had once been corrected for mispronouncing "chipotle" and until I did this blog I thought they were correct. It turns out we both were!

I love this silly Thanksgiving song

2010-11-24T08:00:00.001-08:00

Remember this time of the year all year round.

"A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues."
-- Cicero

Thanklessness

2010-11-23T05:30:00.000-08:00

Imagine the world without gratitude!

Let's think for a minute what that really means.

Living your life expecting yourself to receive everything and anything you get. Living your life miserable because, well frankly, you hate your life because you never appreciated anything you have and only ever want more more more.

Either way, you never take a moment to thank anyone for what you have. Not even yourself. I'm not talking God. I'm not talking your spouse. Not even your children, friends, family or doctor. Although ALL of these peeople should be thanked. I've heard the arguements, "they know I love them and appreciate them, I shouldn't have to say it", if that were true there'd be alot less divorces and heartbreak in the world. Quite honestly, doesn't it just feel good to hear the words, "Thank you" and "I love you".

It doesn't have to be towards a specific person. I'm talking about just walking around aware that you have an opportunity that another person would give alot to have, or even you would give to get it back. It doesn't matter what your profession, your housing, whatever. There are people walking this world who would work alot harder than you to get what you already have. Sometimes people lose what they have and then when it's gone is when they finally "get it" and appreciate what they had.

After it/they are gone............it's just too late.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-- Oprah Winfrey

Happy Thanksgiving

Peach pie with tapioca

2010-11-22T07:45:00.000-08:00

Ok, I may not being baking while traveling these days. I am not cooking much at all. I don't even have any of my recipes with me on my travels but I had to share a tip for Steph's post today. If you've never made pie with tapioca in it, then I suggest you do. It retains alot of flavor and moisture. Peach pie is my favorite and here is one compliments of allrecipes.com. Happy Thanksgiving!

Original Recipe Yield 6 servings
Ingredients
1 pastry for double-crust pie
5 cups sliced peeled peaches
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup quick-cooking tapioca
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
Directions
1.Line a 9-in. pie plate with bottom crust. Trim pastry to 1 in. beyond edge of pie plate; set aside. In a bowl, combine peaches, lemon juice and extract. Add sugar, tapioca and salt; toss gently. Pour into crust; dot with butter. Roll out remaining pastry; make a lattice crust. Seal and flute edges. Cover edges loosely with foil. Bake at 425 degrees F for 20 minutes. Remove foil; bake 20-30 minutes longer or until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbly. Cool on wire rack.
.

In the nick of time

2010-11-21T11:05:00.000-08:00

I am flying to Philly on Thanksgiving morning.

I get off work at 7:30 and the flight leaves at 9:30. I am betting on smooth plans.

The airport is about 15-20 minutes away from work. I am taking my luggage with me and heading straight there.

Today I do a trial run to the airport. I don't want to waste time running into any gps glitches.

I also figure on Thanksgiving morning the traffic shouldn't be too bad at 7:30. I am going to look into checking my luggage the day before and then valet my car at the terminal, which I have been told they do there.

I've heard that traveling on the holiday is usually the best way to do it because most people arrive the day before.

So cross your fingers I make it out of work on time. No road glitches. No luggage problems. No parking hold ups. No security set backs........

Frustration, Thankfulness, and Aging parents

2010-11-17T16:42:00.001-08:00

I'm frustrated right now and to top it off today started out depressing, with me crying in the rain while my boyfriend left to drive home to Connecticut. It's moments like this, that made me delay and delay travel nursing. Among many of the excuses I made, one of them was my parents health. My mom is 76 and my dad is 79. He has been the sicker of the 2 over the years and this past few months it seems to be one thing after the next.

In fact he said that to me the other day on the phone in a frustated sigh. "I don't understand why these things keep happening to me?" I answered in my best nurse "ease" explanation. "Well, sometimes these things do happen and that's when you have to be even more careful than ever to be sure that everything that is working right, continues to work at it's best."

My dad fell in the middle of the night last night, and well, here I am 5 hours away. Thankfully there are 8 kids, with many of them in the area there. I just kinda wish I could talk to him, but as I well know there's no patient phone in the icu. So, I'll sit and write until my mom calls after she gets home from visiting him. I am very thankful for my sister and all her help she has given me in the past few weeks for so many different things. She's always been my go to girl. I'm also really thankful that my dad and I have talked several times this past week and that I sent him a get well card the other day.

Travel Teusday 11/16/10 ( I meant to post this yesterday)

2010-11-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend came to town on friday. We did a duck tour
of Pittsburgh. That was fun. We saw the city, heard some of it's history and laughed at stupid jokes. I found out they officially have 446 bridges. That's three more than Venice, Italy , the former world leader in number of bridges.

We were going out for dinner. I put the address into the gps and off we went to see the 2nd most romantic view in the US, the Dusquene incline. An old coal cart converted into an incline trolley car to transport people to the top of Mount Washington, where all the upscale restaurants are, including the one we had reservations for.

Somehow we made it through the construction area and into town faster than I had expected. Good thing, since it would take us another 45 mintues of driving around lost to find out that the parking area address I got off the internet, was no longer open. The gps had trouble with the mulitple elevations too, so we couldn't quite keep on one path. By the time we realized it, I knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy the evening, meaning I wouldn't either. So we decided to go back toward home and find a place to eat there.

If it wasn't for the schizophrenic gps and the wrong address, we would have found it fairly easily.

We also saw the Cathedral of Learning. It's an enormous 42 story building which was built as a cathedral but is nonreligious. It's actually a part of the University of Pittsburgh. The architecture is beautiful but the best part of it is the 26 nationality rooms. They have 26 rooms and growing. Each room representing a culture in West Pennsylvania. They have German, Chinese, Israeli, African, Japanese....... and on. We both enjoyed the German, Ukranian and Yugoslavian rooms, being as they are our nationalities. Mike was raised in former Yugoslavia until he was 10, traveling across Europe and living in Austria for awhile until immigrating in the 70's.

The Austrian room

The Armenian room

Each room was prepared and individually modeled after a specific culturally appropriate setting. The Welsh room was a chapel and a classroom, modelled after the early settlers town buildings. The Ukranian room was a replica of a reception room where visitors would be welcomed into a home. Click the link above and you could take a virtual tour! Best of all, each of these rooms is utilized as a classroom for the University.

We also toured the 300 acre Allegheny Cemetary, dating back to the 1800's. The grand and magnificent mosleums were eerie yet beautiful. Then the wierdest part was when we got back in the car to leave and the gps spoke Afrikans. We didn't change the language and I did lock the doors!

Somtimes the grass is just spraypainted greener on the other side (part 2)

2010-11-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

The grass is NEVER greener on the other side and on the rare occasion that it is, well, you actually changed yourself. If you put that change and the effort into your previous relationship it very well may have worked out too.

Let's think a minute about that saying.

Grass needs to be nurtured, right? Dead grass is dead because it wasn't nurtured. Some very smart and witty person came up with that saying, huh? Relationships need to be nurtured. Fail to nurture them and they may die. Some easier than others.

No one can enter into something without some amount of effort and sacrifice. Nothing in this world is easy or handed over and when you have that attitude you will find yourself very unhappy someday. We are all individually responsible for our own happiness and reflectively so in how we treat others close to us, in any relationship in our lives. Meaning, a person can make themselves miserable in treating the people in their life poorly.

There is alot to be said about gratitude. I heard someone say "I wonder if a little gratitude is too much to ask."? Personally I think it's moments like that, when we need to be even more thankful and grateful. Gratitude begets gratitude. You don't go out into the world expecting it back though, you must honestly want the best for others.

If you've ever read "The Secret" then you get it. It's a wonderful book about how we live our lives and quickly as I began it, I realized that I live my life in this way. More now than ever and even more so every day.

Research shows the most happy people practice gratitude every day. Even the little things because honestly some days that's all there is on your mind and it's a great place to start.

I heard not too long ago to treat your husband as you treat your dog! I thought, huh? Well, after the example, I got it.

When you come home and in the door and you say " Hi baby.......Ohh I love you too (lick lick, kiss, kiss).....You're such a good boy......Do you want a treat?.....I got you one, right here!"

Imagine if you said that to your husband instead of "Yo, Are you here?..........I'm home.........Did you start dinner.......cause I gotta get to this meeting by 7 and they're only serving chips......What do you mean you didn't start it?........I have to leave in 45 minutes!........Oh, hello by the way"

I'm not talking about building the Tajmahal to show your appreciation.

Just a simple thanks and maybe a kind gesture, like taking out the garbage.

I know what you're thinking too. That's hard to do especially when you are mad at them or don't feel that they deserve it, but then why are you with them? Then you'll remember the reasons and the little things you're mad about will look smaller. Better yet maybe it'll even inspire you to work on your problems and improve what you have.

I think the best way to appreciate others is to imagine them not in your life. How do you feel? How does that change your life? What do those missing people bring to your life?

Now go thank them for it.

Travel Tuesday 11/09/10

2010-11-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

I am dedicating my tuesdays to travel diary logs.

So this past week:

I started with an 11 mile hike with the hiking meetup. It's a big deal to hike the Rachel Carson trail. The trail is around 37 miles and named after Rachel Carson, a founder in the environmental movement. Every year on the longest day, 600 people hike this challenging trail.

Many of the people, were there with us. I was so happy to finish in 4 hours, until I found out the first people finished in 2 1/2 hours! Needless to say I haven't felt up to much exercise or running since that day.

I got to the Strip District which is a shopping area.

I wandered around but most of all I was there to find the chocolate store. I knew they would have my favorite and they did! It's a british brand called Dauphin and it's made of dark chocolate and earl grey tea leaves. It's heavenly. I would like to go back when the markets are open at the end of the week too. It's supposed to be a big shopping arena for fresh meats and produce.

My boyfriend set a date for visiting me and he's coming this weekend! Yay!!! He's driving, which he doesn't really enjoy alone, but for me he'll do it. Of course his time limit is 8 hours and that's how far of a drive it is. So I consider myself very lucky! He doesn't want to fly because of the recent bombs discovered after an anonymous tip about a commercial flight delivering a printer. Yes, a printer with bombs hidden inside of the ink cartdridge. I don't blame him there.

I'm planning a bunch of outings for his time with me but I mostly want to spend time at home with him alone. So I'll update you next tuesday very quickly, being as he'll still be with me and I want to spend as much quality time as possible together.

Tomorrow I will post part 2 of yesterdays blog. It's the part I like most.

Sometimes the grass is just spraypainted greener on the other side (part 1)

2010-11-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

Infidelity is not only for villains was my first blog on here and I still believe that it's true however............

I am in no way saying that it is not wrong to cheat. What matters most is how you respond to finding yourself in this situation. I have seen every different scenario as it pans out and I'm sure in time I will see more.

There's the chronic cheater who is incapable of monogamy.

The bored housewife.

The traveling salesman, the neglected spouse..............

It is human to cheat. It is human to fail at a relationship. It is human to handle it poorly. It is also human to handle it with dignity and kindness, because you still care about that other person, who may now be left behind to pick up the pieces. Possibly there is a chance at salvaging the relationship. I can't help but believe that there can be a chance.

The problem is that everyone involved has to want to salvage it. Most people don't have what it takes to do that. To turn your back on that high you are flying on when you have found someone who you think is the solution to everything that's wrong with your previous relationship. If you put that change and the effort into your previous relationship, and quite frankly yourself, it very well may have worked out too or at least ended dignified before an affair even occured.

Many people get lost in the situation and lose sight of it. It's never easy and never clean but it is in your control. You can choose to do something and be honest before anything ever happens with someone else. You can stop it when it is about to happen. You can stop it after it happens and say something or never do it again.

The thing is, their shit stinks too. Their socks are all over the floor. The sink is gooped up with toothpaste too. They don't get you flowers either. Their checkbook bounces too. Creditors hound their phone. They lose their physique.

I bet we all know some people who's fling failed miserably and maybe they even went back to their spouse.

4 Year old killer? I think not.

2010-10-31T05:23:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't here, I'll recap. A 4 year old is being sues for negligence in the death of an elderely woman who broke her hip when the 4 year old and a friend were racing bicycles with traing wheels. The elderly woman died a few weeks later.

I've heard this story several times in the past few days. Although it is tragic, I was shocked a little not alot because it seems nowadays anyone sues everyone but I also learned something bizarre. The judge stated that this child was close enough to their 5th birthdy which was on the books as "old enough to be sued." ??? Really at age 5 it's acceptable in the judicial system to be sued? How do you even think to do that?

They even mentioned that sueing the mother is not an option because, a parent's presence alone does not give a 4 year old carte blanc to act recklessly. Last time I checked, that's exactly how 4 year olds act. They run around without paying attention to who's around them and they destroy things. How is a 4 year old or even a 5 year old able to understand the repercussions of their actions? It's a long learning phase in their development. Somewhere after age 7 a child learns reasoning and logic but that could take up to age 12 with some kids.

I may not be a lawyer but it doesn't make sense. The judicial system should have dismissed it and if anything then go after the parent but honestly it doesn't sound entirely reckless. It seems that every time someones says "well, their close enough to the age" someone will later use that to lower the age and then again and again. Isn't that how we got here?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39905143/

Dr. Oz, impotence, high blood pressure and strokes! Oh my!!

2010-10-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

Dr. Oz had a piece on the Penis the other day. Yes, the penis!

Apparently it takes a celebrity Doctor to get people's attention about their bodies. He's been grabbing people's interest from the beginning. He's a good teacher. He talks to people like they are friends and patients. Not just a number waiting in line. His friendly approach and humor sets a tone of trust and people are more willing to listen, understand and believe him. More doctors and practitioners could take a lesson.

Anyway, he's talking about the importance of self testicular exams. Only 15% of men do them! He also meantioned the importance of self brest exam for women but we're talking about men. He continued on about the changes throughout life that occurs to a man. The importance of your all around health and being aware of any changes.

I still find it amazing that it has to be a celebrity for a person to listen.

I've seen many many patients who come in to the icu after a stroke because they stopped taking their medications. Then they ask why or how or what happened? Sometimes it's their second stroke, which occurred for the same reason!

Why am I mentioning this? Impotence, which can be a symptom of high blood pressure, is the most common side effect of high blood pressure medicines. The second most common reason people stop taking the pills is price or lack of insurance. They don't see the reality of it. They think the prescriptions and their health don't impact their family until they have a stroke and then the family has to survive without their income and find a way to get them the medical care they need to rehabilitate. Often times never getting back home from the hospital or nursing home. Then there are people who just don't get it! I knew a guy who would take the time to apply vitamin e to his penis but could care less about maintaining his blood sugar as a diabetic!

Cholesterol, blood sugar, smoking, heart disease, high blood pressure, Diabetes and many other conditions will adversely affect your health and yes impact the penis and it's function.

11/1/10 I love Meetup!

2010-10-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

So the other day I explored the meetups in my area and joined a few groups. Wednesday was lunch with the ladies and later that day was hiking. It was fantastic! I love meeting new people. I met such a variety of people and had such a wonderful time. I met a women from Australia, who told me about the nursing opportunities there. I may seriously consider that one! Then on the hike I met a nurse anesthetist who just finished travel nursing and her last assignment was in Connecticut as well. I've also been to a live music lovers group where I heard an artist I've never heard before, Carrie Rodriguez. She's a bit similar to the style of Norah Jones. Bought some cd's and had another great night out. Then hiking again the next day.

If you don't know what meetup is, it's basically a large network or national listing of groups. If there's a group out there that exists or if it doesn't exist yet, but you'd be willing to head it up, meetup will help you do that.

Basically search your zipcode for common interests. It's great for alot of situations but I honestly think almost anyone could find a way to apply it to their life's needs.

Whether you want to promote your business, or socialize and make friends after moving to a new area, or meet people to date without actually doing the online dating scene.

My only tip is not to bring your agenda to the wrong place. Know what the group is or ask, or get a feel for it before you launch your agenda on them unwarranted.

For almost a year, I ran a meetup group that I started. It was fun but frustrating in many ways just getting it started.... but the thing that bothered me more than the work was the innappropriate agendas that others would bring with them.

My group was a foodies group. Hence an interest of some sort in food was necessary. Some people showed just to drum up customers for their business, or some were out to get a date. I have nothing against people wanting to make money or date. Just go find the ones that are for singles or networking..... unless you actually care about food. Some of the people never showed again after they got turned down for their business or a date.

I knew it would be perfect for me as I travel the country. I've found plenty of foodies, women's groups, hiking, live music and card games clubs.

So in a nutshell that's meetup! Check it out.

http://www.meetup.com

10/28/10 A Care Package!

2010-10-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

My honey sent me a care package!

Consisting of pajamas to replace my missing pair, Ed Hardy winter skull caps, sugar free chocolates for guiltless pleasure, a carrying case for his (now my) gps and a sweet little letter. My baby rocks!

Marie Claire issues apology for insensitive provocative blogger

2010-10-27T12:23:00.001-07:00

The magazine Marie Claire issued an apology on tuesday for posting a blog by a free lance columnist of theirs, Maura Kelly.

In her original blog she was discussing a CBS sitcom, called "Mike and Molly". She compared watching obese people to watching an alcoholic or a junky. The article was title "Should Fatties Get A Room?". Marie Claire approved the article before it was released but blame the blogger's provocative style.

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television

Apparently the entire thing started with a CNN article about the show and other shows handling weight issues in tv and movies.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/20/plus.size.characters/index.html

10/26/10 "The Newbie is learning some lessons"

2010-10-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

Travel nursing is gonna be good for me. I think it'll thicken my skin some more. It already has.

I'm a nice person but then nice people tend to get walked allover, right?

I can't decide if I don't like my recruiter or if it's the company.

I will be changing something, that's for sure. They had ample time and still didn't have housing for me before I started. So I had to live in an extended stay. That first room was the worst room I've ever spent a night in. Nonsmoking my ass!

So, I spoke up and asked for a new room and got moved. Then there was a problem with the door lock....... Needless to say I didn't enjoy moving twice in the first week I started this job in a metropolitan area with a ton of construction and traffic.

Then there's the fine print on the contract where I can be cancelled up to a certain number of hours in the total length of my contract. Another thing I experienced was the numbers game with my pay!!! I was told initally that the job pay was one thing and then when I got the contract it was much lower! Turns out that they supplement the pay to make it what they originally told me it was. I didn't find that to be very honest. Just tell me up front. They had to know I'd see it on my contract in black and white.

The last assignment and recruiter I had also played a numbers game with me about my monthly subsidy. Instead of the $XXX/month I was contracted for my paycheck reflected almost $200 less. They came to the difference by :

monthly amount x 12 months then divide that by 52 weeks and that's what I got paid which came to the newer lower amount. I would have appreciated being told that up front too. Why not forget about the first number altogether? Just give me the "real" number?

It is an ongoing learning process and no matter how many travel nurses I knew and spoke to before hand it's still gonna be a challenge but I still love it!

10/25/10 "You don't live in Mayberry"

2010-10-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

I love the town I live in. My balcony looks out to a large river and small yacht club.

It's so quaint. I've always wanted to live in a town with a Main street you can walk to, with a picturesque running/walking path, shops, fine dining, pubs, coffee shops, famous bakery and a little theater, that shows old movies and cult flicks.

This theater is awesome. They are having a Grease sing a long, all month long horror fest, weekend classics with brunch, and much more.....

Since I arrived here, I thought to myself "this place looks safe". I decided to go to the Police department and ask them. Apparently on weekends the office is closed. So I had to wait 'til Monday morning to call.

I asked if they've ever had a homicide? Any attacks on runners? Is it safe to run after nightfall or before dawn? He said "It's safe BUT as long as you use common sense. Lock your doors..... People in this town like to think they live in Mayberry........"

I can see it. This place is a little slice of America, minus the delapidated buildings, graffiti and creepy people. Ok, most of America doesn't have Yacht clubs and I find them to be signs of obnoxious yuppie exclusion like Country clubs but this one is tiny and hidden and you get my point. Signs of the "not so nice neighborhood" are missing here.

I'm not an idiot I know that anything can happen anywhere but you must admit that there are locations where running before dawn is simply an invitation for trouble. I just find it surprising that some people in this world still refuse to believe that bad things happen everywhere.

How does someone not lock their doors and why? What is the reason? Is it to prove a point? Is it the simple lack of habit and lack of reality or do they refuse to believe? Is the changing world around them and their stand against it, really that important?

Needless to say, I lock my doors. I run with a cellphone and stay focused on my surroundings. My apartment complex has a gate and locked access to the building let alone my apartment. I am here all alone so my personal safety is important. I have mace for walking to my car at work but there is a shuttle to and from a gaurded garage. One thing's for sure I feel safer here than I did in New Haven, Connecticut.

10/17/10 "Necessity aka Desperation is the Mother of Invention"

2010-10-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

I discovered today that one can toast bread on a stovetop. I remembered back to camping. We would lean the bread on top of the gas stove on low.

You see, I kind of forgot my toaster oven. Ok, I actually left it behind on purpose because I am WAY overpacking. I knew I would and I knew it was a matter of practice. Moving every 13 weeks, you eventually figure out what you really need to take with you.

I also own a lot of clothes and JUNK. I left quite abit in my boyfriend's basement but I still had my truck full to the brim and the fact that everything else I own is in storage makes it even harder.

So I am learning what I can live without. Its very interesting when you think about and then try to live without. Luxury items are so taken for granted.

I grew up in a very thrifty household, being the youngest of 8. I was only lucky because I was the youngest that I occassionally got spoiled but otherwise we scrimped and got by on pennies and coupons and hand me downs...... We didn't have the latest or greatest anything. We were very late in getting a microwave and I thank my parents for that now. Because I remember how to reheat leftovers without one.

Take a large pan with a little water and place a small saucer upsidedown . Heat the pan 'til the water boils and place your leftover plate on top of the upside down one. Simmer covered until desired temperature.

What couldn't you live without? Think about though, is it really that impossible? I suppose it all depends on why you're giving it up. If its a reason that's worth it then you'll find a way to make life without it work, especially if its only temporary ;)

10/16/10 "The Long Distance Relationship"

2010-10-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

This one's not so much about travel nursing but your personal life while travel nursing or travel anything.

I am in a long distance relationship. When we were talking about it, the other day, I said "I don't think that I have ever been in one........" Then I remembered way back when I was young. There was a world of difference between 19 and 20. I had a boyfriend who was turning 21 long before I would. We were devoted and young. We were so sure we'd be married and together forever. The long and the short of it. He cheated and he didn't want to stay together.

I learned from that, just as I learn something from every situation in life, whether it be positive or negative. I learned that men have needs, even the least needy men. Of course, women do too, but I'm talking about men. Although, that's a good point. Any relationship, long distance or not, needs fuel to both sides. If one or both feel neglected, add in the simple fact that you're not physically close to eachother, and you have a potential for disaster.

There's a key here. You see, my boyfriend is 10 plus years in recovery and I don't drink much. I honestly believe that alcohol and drugs play a really big part. You ask the people with the most secure relationships, how they feel about throwing in alcohol and the opposite sex and you will find their level of security changes very quickly. You see it all the time on "Jersey Shore" or just go to any local bar and play fly on the wall. Its proven that people lose their judgement when they drink or do any substance. I feel bad for those young girls every time they go drinking. They are risking themselves to the men who are also drinking and lack proper judgement.

Anyhow, as far as the long distance thing. I'm making it fun and keeping it interesting. I have about 20 I miss you hallmark cards to send every other day, including an oversized one and several with songs of ours. I'm also great at sexy emails, texts and teasing but best of all is still up my sleeve and honestly NOTHING beats in the flesh.

He put the bar pretty high when I left. He gave me a gift and said I couldn't open it until I got there. It was a digital picture frame, already loaded with photos and some of our songs.

Its all a challenge but it's nothing we can't handle. When he said he was sick of these feeling of missing me all the time, I told him we should make the most of it and let it make us stronger and deeper. I honestly believe in taking a negative and finding the positive in it. More to come soon!

10/15/10 "Welcome to Pittsburgh"

2010-10-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

I like pittsburgh so far, despite the enormous number of bridges and tunnels. I haven't googled it yet but I've driven thru at least 2 tunnels and I can't begin to count how many overpasses and 4 bridges.

Pittsburgh has 3 rivers! I happen to have an apartment looking out
my balcony onto one of them :)

This is a good thing except for my lack of knowledge of the area. So my boyfriend gave me his gps. What a great invention. I can imagine how helpful modern technology is for a traveler. However, it's almost a hinderance here. You see, gps has trouble with elevations. Something we first discovered a weekend away in Rhode Isalnd. It can't always tell which road or highway when there's one above or below you. So thank god I knew this and remained calm when it says " turn left" while you're driving on an overpass. Yikes!

As far as the job and stuff, there's more to come soon.

9-26-10

2010-09-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have decided to continue on my travel nursing path. It was a tough decision, being as my boyfriend doesn't want to go with me. I never thought I'd meet someone special so soon on my travels but I simply can't stay at my first travel, especially being that its Connecticut.

So I am starting in Pittsburgh in a neuro icu in 2 weeks. I am taking a week for conferences back home and seeing friends and family. Then the last week before I start I am gonna take a vacation. Hopefully going to my sisters place in Myrtle beach.

I really haven't gotten on the ball. The only states I am licensed in are Pa and Ct. So I can't work anywhere fun yet. I am working on my California, Texas, and NY license.

See, there is a wonderful little thing that I don't have....... Primary residence in a "compact" state. There are about 20 someodd states that have total reciprocation among nursing licenses called "compact" licenses. One of those would make this really easy.

Stay tuned.

9-12-10

2010-09-12T18:36:00.000-07:00

Don't ever forget!

That's the mantra for 9-11. We all know it. We all say it

I don't know anyone directly but I know many many people who lost close loved ones family members and friends.

The proposed mosque is an insult and an affront to the memory of everyone who lost their lives.

We the people live by the constitution. We have no choice but to abide by freedom of religion but we also have freedom of speech. Islam is a religion. It has its foundations and beliefs just as any other religion and it also has it's many different interpretations just as many religions do too. Our country may be viewed as cowardly by other countries because we will allow this to happen. We can however use our freedom of speech to speak up. We must talk about this and make our voices heard but there is no reason to insult others angrily in the name of those who died.

All this angry and rage and insult and negativity is so unhealthy. It is ONLY fueling the fire. The inferno that already exists among these extremist groups of Islam who aren't the only members of that religion. If we support all this hatred then we are no better than any bigot who "pre"judges anyone different, assuming that all Islamic people are haters and terrorists.

What ever happened to the love and the unity of post 9-11 that gave us the real strength to fight what the terrorists represent?

This opinion piece from Nikki Stern on CBS Sunday says it best. This is the link to the transcripted version and the actual video of her opinion piece.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/09/12/sunday/main6858691.shtml?tag=currentVideoInfo;videoMetaInfo

6/6/10

2010-06-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

Ok so I haven't been here much. Its true. Its many reasons. Today I am feeling anxious. Its wierd. I am off for the next couple of days and have too much going on in my head to filter out what I need to do. Most important of all though I need to enjoy this time off.

Updates:

I have been spending as much of my free time meeting new people and getting to know everyone. One person in particular. We met on his birthday. I can't begin to describe the chemistry that exists there. We hit it off right away and we are both looking for something serious. I have decided to stay for a second contract here to continue to get to know him better and see where this goes.

I know, I know it sounds crazy but some people seem to get it. I kinda set out on this adventure knowing that I wanted something serious. Thinking "He" could be out there and traveling would bring me to find him.

So as far as traveling. I still haven't gone anywhere due to my crazy schedule. My new contract will be 36 hours a week instead of 48. It will make travel much easier. There is no chance of me going to the Meditteranean, or Europe at all for that matter. Its far too expensive for me right now. I can't easily part with money. Its a fear I picked up after my ex destroyed our finances. I will, however, be going to Rhode Island, Boston, camping and the beach. The beaches here aren't really anything special but it is still the beach and that's where I plan to spend a lot of my Summer.

So I will be blogging but pretty randomly. Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

Diary of a Travel Nurse 4-21-10

2010-04-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

So hear I sit with my brocolli rabe and garlic white pizza from one of my fav Pa joints, "From the Boot", (Yes I have to mention the garlic because believe it or not many places don't do much if ANY garlic on a white, shameful) and blogging on my phone. Tomorrow I am finally moving my furniture and giving up my PA apartment.

I must admit this running back and forth on my days off 200 miles is pretty annoying. Even for a road trip lover like myself. Before I know it my Connecticut assignment will be done and I'll be moving again.

Seriously, I was filling in my schedule, yes we self schedule just like I did at my old job (gotta love that), and realized that schedule ends 2 weeks before I leave there. Yikes!!

So I am planning ahead with what I want to do there but my schedule is getting too full already. You see I'm contracted for 48 hours a week. That's 4, 12 hour shifts. 3, 12's is tough enough but 4 is Wow! I can do it though, no problem and make damn good money and still enjoy the area some. I'm gonna do a trip to Boston and NYC but honestly if I don't get to NYC I'll live cause I've been and I'll be again. Pa isn't all that far from there and everyone goes at times.

Funny thing is I'm making more plans for going away than for stay-cations in Connecticut. I'm planning camping and a cruise. Then after this contract is up I will be going to either or both Germany and a part of the Meditteranean. One of my nieces is delivering a baby girl in May in Germany so I wanna go there. Then another niece is studying a semester at Sea in the Meditteranean. The Meditteranean is my dream location. I've always wanted to hit several spots there. It will be difficult to pick which one but I am going to at least one if not both.

Ode to the Pa apartment

2010-04-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

You were pretty good to me over the past 3 years. I never thought I'd stay here this long.

If it weren't for you I wouldn't have fallen in love for the first time after my ex, on the other hand thanks a lot for that fiasco. Lol.

If I didn't live here I never would have met several neighbors but most importantly Kathy and Valerie, and Chris and Adrienne but definitely Kathy and Valerie.

I might have never learned how to jump the fence to swim after hours. God, I am gonna REALLY MISS the pool :(

Thank you for sharing your space with me and my friends and my pets. Thank you for housing me during this past Winter and the horrendous amounts of snow fall. All 48 + inches.

You were my tattoo parlor for a weekend. Many people are thankful for that and you gave me what I always wanted. Not only the tattoo itself but the memory and experience of that weekend. I will never forget it.

You were at times the vessel for my dreams. Leaving them in my hands to make them come true as only the dreamer can do.

You were the recording studio for my singing along and my audience when there wasn't one.

You were the babysitter who looked after my cat when I left town for days on end only to return to a warm and happy kittyhug. Yes, my cat gives hugs. Its a wonderful thing.

You watched over me when I was sick with the flu for a week and when I fell skiing. Protecting me while I recovered.

You were my restaurant when I entertained others or even if it was just me.

Thank you. May your next inhabitants care for you as I have or better and be grateful and happy for all you offer.

Diary of a travel nurse

2010-04-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally found some time to blog. I'm gonna start doing a travel nursing blog once a week. I still have some moving to do. I have til the end of April to give up my apartment in Pennsylvania. All that's left is the big furniture to go to storage and then clean. So even after I moved and started my job, I've still had to travel back and forth to Pa several times for moving. I think once it's done, time here will be more enjoyable and each assignment thereafter will transition more smoothly. I just can't believe the enormous amount of "stuff" that I own.

I think I really lucked out in my first assigment. There are many many travel nurses here at Yale. I'm networking like crazy and getting a crash course in the business. It seems like everyone has an angle on it. I've met a few people who have been doing this for many years. One guy started at UCLA and took a per diem job with them, going back in between assignments to work there for a few weeks. So he has seniority and tuition paid for his son some day. I tried to finagle keeping my job back in Pa but they haven't had per diem available for quite some time, so I did have to quit.

I've met some people who travel as a couple. I have a friend back home who wanted to travel with me. She and I were supposed to go to California together but she's nowhere near ready to go. So we'll go there in the future. I figure I'll get to California and never leave. Hence my bloggin name "Goin' to Cali !". I've always wanted to live there, since I was a kid. It's not to say that I would never leave there. I mean I love Pa. Alot of my friends and family are in Pa, but I do have family all around.

I'm hoping to go South after here. I fell in love with the Carolina's years ago and revived that this past Summer. My niece and her family live in Wilmington North Carolina and my sister occassioanlly visits and has a few houses there. I don't get to see my great nephew much at all. While my other sister has a few houses in Myrtle. So I'm hoping to find an assigmnent near Myrtle Beach or Wilmington for July. If not then at least a beach somewhere south of here. The Connecticut beaches aren't much. My plan is to do this for 1-3 years. There's so many places on my list that I want to go to but if anyone has a suggestion, please do. I've invited friends and family to travel with me. I figure even if they aren't a nurse, there are jobs out there that would allow for short term work and relocating. While I am a very independant person it would be nice to have someone traveling with me but at least I have my pets.

My cat Nala and dog Benny adjusted quickly. They love the extra space and big windows. The apartment is beautiful. Two bedrooms, a loft and 12 foot ceilings covered with windows. I decided to find the place on my own, taking the housing stipend and pocketing the leftover money. I think my dog Benny has more opportunity to socialize here. There's 5 buildings, each with about 50 apartments and an elevator. He needs to meet more and more people. He's still very shy with people but loves dogs. I'm gonna start him in obedience classes and doggy daycare.

I did a bunch of exploring yesterday and most importantly found a great cafe for breakfast and a little bar for hanging. Since I moved here I have been captivated by the mountain outside my window. It's actually a state park. Took my dog hiking there. The town itself reminds me of Atlantic City in a way. The mecca of Yale University, so excessively rich, is surrounded by destitution and poverty. It appears the community offers nothing for the children and teens to do other than a playground. So they ride the bus back and forth as if to cruise the streets. The locals have told me there is nothing available for them. The appearance of the community is not good. In Pa, or anywhere else I've ever been, the neighborhoods immediately surrounding a park would be pricier and well kept. It's just not that way here. The windows are boarded up and some of the buildings are in bad shape. I met an interesting local last night. He put it perfectly. There is no middle class here. You're either upper or lower and that's it.

Thankfully I'm on the very edge of the town but I still have my doubts. Two of my sisters helped me move here. The next morning they said "did you hear that noise last night outside the window?". Apparently there was a lot of fighting below and almost every night since. Well, until I started calling the cops, three times in fact. One night there was a party bus idling waiting for everyone to get in while they partied for 45 minutes outside the bus at 11 pm. My sleep is too important for that bs. It seemed to be the topic of every conversation with neighbors and I thought "Why doesn't anybody call the police?". I haven't heard a thing in over a week. Oh, and that next morning after I moved we found 2 cars with their windows smashed, parked directly next to me. The fence is smashed on the other side of the lot so you can see how people could get in or out easily. That being said, it is pretty high security to parking lot but also to get in the building. Everything, but your apartment door,works on electronic passkeys. Apparently the leasing office knows about the fence and they have been contacting the owner to no avail.

Most importantly, I have to tell you about the job. They are pretty much deperate here but appreciative and helpful. If I was looking for a permanent position somewhere, I would consider it here. They take good care of their employees. They opened a new building which they were compeletely unprepared to staff. The extra number of rooms, for all the units that moved, added a disproporioned ratio of patients to staff. So until they get enough new staff and have them up and running, there will be a need for temporaries. They have a high standard here. Considering it's my first contract, I'm not neccessarily an expert however the seasoned travelers tell me it's not like this. You see, the hospital paid us for a week's worth of orientation. That's a big investment. Most orientations for travel contracts are about 1-2 days. They've already offer me a continuation on my contract. I'm gonna pass. I want to keep moving. I didn't start this just to stay at my first assignment, especially in Connecticut. Honestly I wouldn't have even left if that was the case, although the money is great, but no.

There are no bad ideas

2010-03-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

I realized today that there is no such thing as a bad idea. Instead just make the decision you know you want and make it firm. Embrace it instead and don't look back. Then you can't go wrong.

Today was my last day of work. I've quit my job of 14 years. Waivering back and forth on a decision only delays ANY progress. I often do this. I think I am searching for perfection but at the same time just missing out on soooo much by making no decision at all. No decision in life IS perfect. That's the thing. Nothing is simple or easy and thank god. If life was simple and easy then it would be boring. As long as the decision is founded on good information but it's very easy to screw up a good decision by looking back on option #2 that you didn't pick.

Crunch Time from the Procrastinator's Point of View

2010-03-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

I have been busy trying to make some head way through a few projects all adding up to a HUGE Life changing event/journey. I promise to keep my blog updated and will blog regularly very soon.
I have wanted to do travel nursing for quite some time. Basically, it's 13 week assignments at hospitals across the US. It's a huge decision with many factors. The long and the short of it is that I have been hired by a hospital in Connecticut. I was definitely thinking warmer as a fisrt stop but it's Spring I will be there until the end of June, so it won't be very cold at all compared to Philly.
Which leads to the next best reason. It's close enough for me to slowly adjust to this new journey while packing most of my belongings into storage.
So, please forgive me for not being around here much. Of course it doesn't help that I am a terrible procrastinator and a chronically late person. In fact I really got get going for today. Maybe this is what I'll do quick little blurbs, since I tend to get lengthy too easily. Lol.
Happy Monday everyone! Wish me Luck!

Prozac for the ears

2010-01-28T10:44:00.000-08:00

Years ago I made up a cd of fun upbeat songs and named it Prozac. I couldn't find every song on the internet so I have an abridged an updated version for you today. Everyone who knows me says I am hyper, happy and fun loving. So, when I need a lift, you know it's gonna be good. I dare you to see how "F"ing great you feel after it. If you're not smiling uncontrollably all day long after this then you don't have a pulse. Give it a try and maybe you'll even find something new to love. All of these songs make you want to dance and sing, but ultimately SMILE uncontrollably. You can't keep yourself from moving and humming until you're out of your seat and on your feet. I have many favorites on here because they are all favorites but I'd have to say I am partial to the Pina Colada song because of it's message most of all and Amber is my signature song. It's quintessentially me.

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happiness is.................

2010-01-25T07:29:00.000-08:00

Happiness has popped up alot lately. I am no expert, however I have walked this earth and lived through 38 years with my own personal trials and tribulations just as you all have. What, I have learned in how to be happy is................

Appreciating what you already have. Appreciate it every day, for you NEVER know when it will be gone and honestly those people involved absolutely need to know that they mean that to you. Never assume anything, especially that they know you love them. Love should never be assumed. Of course repeating "I love you" to your loved ones all the time in that meaningless way doesn't really tell them how much you appreciate them. Nothing speaks louder than actions.

And, one of the most important things a marraige counselor every taught me.............

No one is responsible for your own happiness. We are the only one who can make ourselves happy. Yes, people can make us miserable, but (and here's the most important part) WE ALLOW THEM TO. I think also on this same note one could say, living in reality. Living in reality about who a person is and accepting who they are and loving them knowing they have those things that you don't like. It's golden! We all know you can't change people. Not that people don't change. God willing, we all change. It's called growth, but people have to change themselves.

There's always more to be said but I often go on too long. So this is the short and sweet.

May you all, every one of you, realize that you already have every thing that you will ever need or want. All in yourselves.

What have you learned in Life about Happiness?

I really miss Junket

2010-01-19T09:12:00.000-08:00

Have you ever done a search on the internet for something long gone and wound up on a wild goose chase never finding that lost piece of childhood magic. Your favorite candy or game elusive 'til the end and lost in a sea of memories.

Well, not Junket. I found it!! Still being produced since 1874!

I remember as a child. I did find it in the store once sometime in the 90's. This strange dessert from the era of jello molds and jello everything. Junket was just abit different from jello and honestly tasted soooo much better. It was like solidified custardified milk but with the flavors of vanilla and sugar. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I can't wait until my order comes in!!!

A little bit about me

2010-01-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

Well as far as about me .....
I love nature and the outdoors and especially water. Seriously. I am a mermaid. Been swimming since I could walk and swimming well since I could run. Love boats. Love baths. I am the female version of the movie Big Fish. You'll have to try really hard to get me out of the ocean. And if you're a lifeguard that's encountered me then god bless ya. I certainly appreciate the job of a lifegaurd so I explain to them first. Have actually had two near drowning expierences in my life and survived mainly because of my swimming abilities. I will be going out very far. If you're ok with that fine if not just whistle and I'll come in closer. My friends think its an attention seeking thing. Its just me wishing I could dive below the surface and never come up. If I have the chance of being in the water with someone else who loves it, then I'm gone. Never coming in til someone comes to fish me out. They usually don't make too much stink because its more than obvious that I belong in the water. I own a water fountain. Love it. I'm extremely auditory and the sounds of water are some of my favs. The rushing sound of waves hitting the shore. The soft trickle of my fountain as the water lands gently on it. The flowing current of a brook or stream. Oh and don't get me started on the different sounds of rain.

Then there's lightening and thunder. As stated above I am very auditory. Love any sound of nature and music the most. All music. Love to read out loud. Just need an audience. Love to be read to. I think in fact its a lost art. Reading aloud can be wonderful. Its a great activity to share. I haven't got around to my video blogging yet but will. Love to sing.

I collect tea cups. Anything beautiful that catches my eye but most of all hand painted oriental. And better than that even, the kind with a lithophane bottom. I'm an avid orchid grower. Their beauty is rare.

Apparently my decor style is missionary as per my Buddy Lori. I would describe my taste as eclectic to say the least. Bizarre even at times and other times simple and naturalistic. Encorporating pieces of nature with modern art ....

I do love to create. Anything. It goes beyond writing. I will write whatever comes to mind. Sometimes my mind won't settle till I get it out. Which is what got me started with blogging. I am still finding my style, but just enjoying it while it is still raw and slowly refining it more and more. I am artistic with paint. Not so much with pencil, but with training as with writing my drawing has always improved. I like inspiration but I honestly love to inspire others. I am a muse. I am also a good supporter.

I have almost crippling ADHD. It's pretty sad. It's alot of work for me to read a book. Never really took to video games. They're fun don't get me wrong but I can't stand wasting my time away in front of a computer or tv or game, especially when there's fun to be had.

Love movies. All kinds really. I often go through stretches of cravings for a certain type.

Love food every kind. Cooking, eating...... I organized a food group on meetup.com. I was a picky eater as a child and now I'll eat anything even try food I don't like.

Who do I resemble in apperance or personality? I often get Juliana Margules or Amy Irving. My grandmother thought I looked like Brooke Shields when I was a little girl. Believe it or not she wasn't senile ;) I think I am closest to Drew Barrymore in personality. Laid back and fun but extremely serious at times. Oh ya and I used to get the daughter from Roseanne too or Carol from Growing Pains.

Know it all's and Always right's

2010-01-16T06:26:00.000-08:00

First is the "always right"'s. The worst part of it is how in being right whether or not they are, they make it all about that. Thinking that they are so much better. That if they are right they are superior to you and others and everyone. That lack of respect for you and your thoughts and feelings is what makes them ulimately truly WRONG in the ways that count. Their need to "win" at the cost of your feelings. High stakes. They see everything in terms of win/lose.

Life shouldn't be win/lose. If life becomes win/lose it's no longer about living. I just wonder what their life is like. Are these truly happy people? Or do they constantly find themselves unsatisfied and in search of perfection and absolute "rightness". I couldn't be a truly happy person with that sort of drive or pressure on myself. Basically never able to appreciate what I have in my life, instead always searching for the imperfections and pointing them out as if to say "see, I was right and you were wrong". People who are always right are most often the most wrong. Because to them everything operates for them and if it doesn't then its not working right or working at all.

Walking around and thinking you know everything causes a certain arrogance and blinds you to what life has to offer as a learning experience. They walk around totally closed minded to reality. Honestly too, how well does it work for you when you walk around assuming you're right all the time. You can easily get so cocky that you're more wrong and unwilling to hear the other side at all. Eventually being right becomes an arrogance and leads you into miscommunications and misunderstandings all the time then it turns into a hinderance. I imagine people who walk around thinking or even being right all the time think it puts them ahead of everyone else when in reality the hinderance it causes is worse than any positives you get.

Its like the person who goes to a funeral says to the corpse " I told you to wear your seatbelt". So their last words aren't "I miss you" but rather the last laugh.

Then there's the "know it all"'s. They think they see the other side because they can come back with the quick "well I know what you're gonna say". Paste and copy argument and fit it in here. They even use the same exact words everytime. When you just regurgitate what you've memorized you never even hear what you said. The thing is they never see that point of view, from orinigation to completion. Its as if they memorized it.

They say the best debater is the one who knows how to best argue the other side. Meaning you can take the opposing sides point of view and be better able to make a counter arguement point for point.

Its actually a sign of insecurity if you have to be right all the time and know everything. Seriously think about what insecurity is. Not being comfortable with yourself. So when you get that feeling inside where you think you might be wrong or do the wrong thing you just get all the more defensive because god forbid you be wrong or human. You can't accept yourself and your errors. Being able to accept and love yourself despite your errors is a great thing. How do people live on after an minor driving error leading to a car accident involving a fatality. They must find a way to accept that they were human and made a mistake. Some of them can't and they take their own life instead. Perfect example. I had a patient who fell off a ladder while intoxicated. The man had been drunk for the past 20 years after he left his infant son alone for one minute on Christmas eve and turned around to find him strangulated between the high chair and the kitchen table and he died. The rest of his family appeared to be ok but they had in turn been dealing with his alcoholism for 20 years after along with their own feelings

People think I am not opininated and I have walked around most of my life sort of believing that, but truth is I recently realized that I do actually have opinions. Strong ones in fact but I honestly make an effort to see the other side. Empathy. Once there it looks like I've given in and someone has won their point of view but no. I still believe mine I'm just civil and honestly understand what they are saying. There have in fact been times that I learned something too and changed my opinion.

I will never know enough in this world and will take any opportunity to learn something from every person I meet in Life. Never assume you are right. Learn that you are correct after you've "heard" the entire arguement. May you all be recieved by others in that perspective too.

It's a new season for Project Runway

2010-01-15T10:15:00.000-08:00

So, here we are. Season 7 of Project Runway. I started getting into it 3 seasons ago. My close friend Colleen and her daughters watch it when it airs every thursday. We go to her daughters place. The group has slowly grown and I now know even more and more people who watch. My sisiter Lisa, my sister in lawKim and my niece Ali. Colleen runs a pool. This season I took the opportunity to look at the contestants and pick one before all the good ones were taken. I still didn't watch every interview but i got my pick.

Amy Sarabi. She appeared to be different at a quick glance and caught my eye. A brief watch of her interview and the judges were oohing and ahhing over her line and what she actually designed and wore to her interview.

Check out her interview and bio here and you can see some of her cools designs that got her a spot.

http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/project-runway/project-runway-designers/amy-sarabi

So last night was the first episode of the season and Amy did ok. Nothing too "wow" or "seriosuly, what were you thinking?". It's a beautfil chiffon harlegquin print balloon skirt with a chiffon white top. the top had a wierd seashell or flower over one boob that didn't work at all. Had it not been for that she might have been a runner up or honroable mention in judging. We'll have to see what she brings next week. I'll keep ya updated. Ooh and I almost forgot the best part, the show is returnign to New York for this season!!!

Check out the outfit she did for this week here.

http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/project-runway/rate-the-runway/season-7-episode-1#id=1

The Dangers of a Dogpark

2010-01-13T09:50:00.000-08:00

The day I posted my blog about Benny, he was bitten at a dogpark. I had already written the blog some time ago and didn't feel I wanted to mention the bite in that blog.

The bite itself occured during play while he was running. The wierd part was the owner of the 4 St. Bernards he was playing with who's one dog bit Benny. She said "He rarely breaks the skin. They always yelp when they get bit. His teeth are all ground down from chewing.". At the time I'll admit I was comforted by the comments because he seemed fine. He kept playing and didn't appear to have broken the skin. I left shortly after because he was drinking muddy water.

That night while petting him in bed, his slobber at that spot felt sticky. Didn't think much of it until late the next day when I realized he did break the skin. The "sticky" I felt was probably blood.

The next morning he was not himself at all. Before calling the vet I figured I'd check his temperature. 103.8!! I wasn't too scared until I realized the whole 20 minutes or so he hadn't moved. He's always the first one up out of bed, or second one depending on the cat. So with coat on keys and leash in hand I approached him lying in bed and had to coax him along. He moved soooooo slow and weakly, he urinated right where he was walking on the concrete outside instead of attempting to reach the grass. After that he stopped competely and I had to carry all 60 pounds of his limp body.

At the vet I relayed the story and the fact that he had been drinking mud water there too. We shaved his hair around the wound and investigated further to find that the lower tooth marks that I couldn't find were far under his chest with a large pool of blood collected under the skin. The lower bite mark had not broken the skin but caused a pocket for the pus from above to drain into and mix with the blood causing a seroma. They took him back to open both wounds, clean them out and place a drain. It was so hard to say goodbye seeing him like that, but it did help that I really love my vet and all the personel there.

When I picked him up he was so drugged and sick that he was just as weak as before. When I got him home he began having diarrhea instantly and woudln't go inside. There he stood in the 16* winter weather stubborn every time I tugged to go in. Every step I made away from home he relaxed and would squat to have more watery stool. My poor baby would rather freeze outside weak, dehydrated and sick than go in and risk an accident on the floor. After about 35 minutes I forced him and he laid right there. I picked him up and placed him in his dog bed where he laid for the next 9 hours, 6 of which he was lifeless other than his breathing. As he slowly came around I to hand fed him boiled chicken and rice while spooning water into his mouth in between.

Thankfully the next morning he was more like himself again. Perky and playful.

The vet said "dogparks keep us in business". Be aware of the risks that a dogpark holds. Dogs may not even be fighting and get seriously injured because another dog is not dogpark appropriate. The force in pounds of pressure behind the bite of a St. Bernard due to their size alone is enough to cause a bad injury when they are just playing. My dogpark has a second fenced area for dogs 25# and under, but what about dogs 100# and up? The average St. Bernard is 120-170 #. They also said because Benny is a big runner his skin will be more taught if bitten while running and then pulled away from his body. Needless to say I will be tracking down the dog owner for the bill. I'm just glad he is doing well :)

Introducing.....................................................

2010-01-07T18:10:00.000-08:00

Benny

I've looked long and hard. I went to yet another shelter. There in the very last kennel in the back was Benny with his roomie Amber. Benny had this playful look with his ears perched up and the tips dangling over and he gave me that little feeling of excitement inside my gut when I saw him. Benny and Amber had grown up together for their first few months of life and for an unknown reason were taken to a rescue with 16 other dogs in one house. That didn't work out and Benny has the scar on his nose to prove it.

Amber was all about attention, knocking Benny away. It's no wonder not one person asked about him for those 5 weeks he was there, but I have the amazing ability to recognize a diamond in the rough. He was very shy and it was his first time meeting anyone other than the staff. He looked back at Amber the whole time they led him down the hall to sit with me and the whole time he was there. They told me they take a minimum of 5 applications before approving a home. So I was shocked when they called me the next day.

I was totally unprepared, nervous and excited all in one. I had to lift him into the backseat, but he goes right in now. He puked on that ride about 5 times. I forgot to mention not to feed him before the ride. Lol. Poor guy was so nervous himself. I made a few stops, the first of which was my sister. Over the next couple of days I dragged him everywhere. He needs socialization with other dogs and people, but mostly people. My dad says he reacts like he was mistreated. I didn't really see it because he quiclky warmed up to me, but he's not really warmed to my dad yet. He follows me everywhere all the time. No one believes it's only been a month because he is so attached to me. It's just love and appreciation.

House training was apparently not his best skill, but that was quickly resolved. In fact he toilets on command :) Very helpful in the cold winter snowy months. He's quite the mutt too. No one can all agree but the concensus is collie, greyhound, german shepherd, pit bull, and rodesian ridgeback. The Vet seems to think his age is accurate ,12 months old, but I'm not so sure. His ears stand all the way up sometimes which if there's any german shepherd means that he's under a year. I think he's grown more and his paws are HUGE. He's a puppy still for sure.

I decided to let him sleep in bed. I made the mistake of showing him the couch but after a day I changed my mind on that and was able to stop it from being a habit. He plays at the dog park like a little kid. He loves to run, which is an extra plus for me. I could always use a running partner. He walks directly at my side instead of pulling on the leash. He's very submissive with other dogs, but he growls at anyone outside my door. I'm pretty sure he's got my back although the other day he was on my back when he was feeling out another dog. My hero ;) Here mommy you save me form the big bad doggie.

He gets along like old friends with my kitty Nala. They practically make out. She likes his face and then when she's done she goes off and Benny follows for more but she just hisses at him at for a minute and he goes off to chew his bone or hide my shoe.

Loving him more and more every day.

Polar Bear

2010-01-01T17:17:00.000-08:00

I rang in the New Year with something I making a new tradition for myself.

Jumping in the ocean on New Year's day. The Atlanitic Ocean in New Jersy in January is 40*. It was exhilarating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like to think of it as a baptism into the new year and washing away the last year.

It was the middle of the night. One of my favorite places is the beach and night. The air was cool but not terribly cold. I stripped off all my clothes ran to the water and went right in. Now of course I wasn't going in deep but I did go under.
Of course for bizarre drama reasons I wound up there at 3 am instead of during the day with a big group of other Polar Bears. No one I was with would go in, not that I was surprised, but they were when I got back with a wet head.

People who know me well, know that I am not all talk. Honestly, when I achieve something I really want, it just feels so damn good and I don't ever want to be on my death bed at a young age and think "I never did this.... or that.... always wished I had....". My risks are definitely calculated and escpecially because of my affection toward irresponsibility but not overcalculated where the fun is lost. Basically I take a point of view in Life that when an unusual situation or hell any opportunity arises, I take it. Happy Nude Rears!!!

What I Wanted For Christmas

2010-01-01T10:52:00.000-08:00

You can't hold it up and stare at its beauty glistening in the light. You can't bring it in close to your nose and enjoy its aroma. You can't brush it gently across your skin to delight in its soft pleasure. You can't read or watch its contents and giggle or cry along with the story. There's no label to wear proudly and no fine establishment to cash it in at.

My Christmas wish was for an apology and a long ago promise fulfilled. It never happened. I knew it wouldn't but I still wanted it and hoped. Some people in this world are more quick to make empty promises and put themselves first. They would rather live their life for themselves and think nothing of the pain they cause others.

The Mummers

2009-12-30T11:04:00.000-08:00

The Mummer's parade is a parade through downtown Philly where clubs of Philadelphians of all walks of life and ethnicities come together on New Years day to dance in silly costumes. It dates back to the mid 1700's. There are 5 different categories,

all judged and awarded. It's alot like a clown show with instruments and vehicles but not devoid of talent or fun.

It's a Philly thing. People line the streets and drink from daybreak til nightfall, including the participants. They are so happy and having such fun. Almost remniscent of Mardi Gras. I've never gone down to see it, but have always wanted to. Instead I watch it on tv. It simply wouldn't be New Years day without it. It's hell to get in and out of the city during a big event, especially the Mummer's.

Sadly, there are many many people who dislike this tradition. They complain about the waste of funds on the fire department and police. People complain about the traffic and shutting down the streets. The city fronted the reward money $300,000 until last year and apparently again this year. The city is in fact charging them $150,000 which they haven't quite come up with.

The Mummers bring a comic relief and entertaining distraction to the troubles of the last year. When most people are so down and out anymore, we really need this lift.

It is a breath of fresh air to see and hear people rejoicing in Life and literally dancing in the streets. Funds or no funds, especially. I really don't think these people will EVER allow it to die. It's puts our focus into perspective. Having the money to do what we want shouldn't ever stop us from doing it or rejoicing and simply enjoying ourselves. It makes one wonder. What would happen if no one laughed and danced anymore?
http://www.phillymummers.com/

http://www.savethemummers.com/

Doctor Feel good

2009-12-22T21:12:00.000-08:00

I liked Britney Murphy.

I enjoyed her movies and found her entertaining. She seemed down to earth in her interviews, a real person. I like real people. Can't stand fakes. She seemed to have the spirit of those like Drew Barrymore, one star in particular that I really enjoy and respect.

So I was saddened by the news of her death. What saddened me even more was the poor representation of medical care, she recieved. Of course not all the information is available just yet and it is filtered through the media, so we may never know. Like Micheal Jackson it sounds as though there was misuse of prescription medications.

The problem in Hollywood as throughout the entire country, are physicians with no scruples. No matter what if you want something bad enough there will always be a physician out there who is willing to tell you exactly what you want to hear. Regardless of whether or not it's good for you. It's terribly sad.

Micheal Jackson's physician will probably make more in his liftime having treated MJ and lost his license than many physicians across the counrtry or outside of the country who honestly want to help others. It's probably the biggest reason I would want to be a Nurse Practitioner. To give people informed and honest appropriate care. Pyshosocial problems are far beyond the reach of surgery and medicine, and honestly these quack physcians are just making society distrust medical providers more. It is taught in medicine that patients aren't satisfied unless they leave your office with a prescription. I can understand that but the sign of a good physician is one who will not give you whatever you want and in fact even try to take the time to explain why it would actually be harmful. I suppose some would say it sounds holistic. Well, let's just say what some doctors are doing with patients is practically euthanasia and it's all in the name of what the client wants, instead of what the patient needs.

Polypharmacy is epidemic in this country. It's goes far beyond the ederly or the celebrity. It is why all of your physicians should know what others are prescribing. It's a symptom of the general populations desire for a quick fix. If we can't fix it overnight with minimal effort or just get gastric bypass and sudenly all our problems are solved, then we don't want to hear it at all.

Pretty pathetic.

Isn't this what life is all about? A challenge?

No one said life would be easy. Not many answers at all come in a pill or are treated and done forever.

The Perfect Male..................

2009-12-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

Waiting with eager anticipation.

We meet..................

A hesitatation....................... but careful not to let the other sense that fear.

Eyes locked. Studying every feature, every scent as we come in closer.

Eye to eye. Nose to nose

My heart singing for Joy.

This is really happening.

It's him.

It's meant to be. The perfect male of my dreams with a tail wagging as wide as his smile.

I am in search of a dog, the 4 legged kind. I've been searching for quite some time. I am pretty picky. I was very picky when I got my cat from the shelter and she's the best cat in the world. Sometimes patience really benefits you, but mine is truly being tested.

I want a German Shepherd. I grew up with them and they hold a special place in my heart. However my apartment complex does not alllow certain breeds on their insurance because of bite risk. Of course a German Shepherd is one of them. It pisses me off, because many people here have them and other illegal breeds but I'm not turning anybody in so those innocent dogs lose their home. In reality it's irresponsible owners that lead to bites and other misbehaviors most if not all of the time. Honestly ANY dog or animal for that matter will bite given a reason.

So although I desperately want to move for many reasons, I am not definitively moving soon enough and my patience and loneliness is wearing thin. Wanting a dog for so long and the dating scene has left me extremely lonely but I simply don't jump into relationships with anyone just because I'm lonely. The effort involved in dating is not worth any of the outcomes so far. So I am focusing my energy on the perfect canine.

My dog will be................................

probably male

large

not a lab, unless it's a mix

or a poodle, just to name a few

get along with other dogs because I will eventually get a German Shepherd

energetic and capable of keeping up with me hiking and running but able to chill

the kind of dog I can take camping all alone and feel safe for us both

loving and affectionate

friendly

obedient

protective

love car rides

and MUST get along with my kitty.

and of course swim or at least tolerate a trial swim lesson. Doggy paddle!!

I miss baking dog biscuits and all the unconditional love of a good dog. I can't wait to meet him and love him. I just hope he doesn't have a weenie pansy name. It would bother me to call "Muffin" out loud and then have to confuse him by changing it.

Tolerating the vacuum wouldn't be so bad either.

Trust me.........

2009-11-29T09:13:00.000-08:00

I still have trouble saying or admitting out loud that I was verbally and emotionally abused by my ex. Its not easy to accept that you were weak. Its not who I am now. In fact quite the opposite. I struggle often to become able to open myself and my heart up to others. Mainly because I am by nature a very trusting person but being aware of my naive tendances I am always hyper alert to the ease with which I can be taken advantage of.

To trust. To love unrestrained. Unafraid of the potential consequences.

I had a patient very recently who was an assault victim, presumably by their significant other. Pt X had internal bleeding which we were hoping could avoid surgery or any intervention. When we can be conservative it's always better. The risks of surgery, transfusion, or any procedures must be wieghed against the risks of the severity of the injury. Everything we do to patients in the ICU carries great risk, but they are there because of their high risk to begin with.

This patient would have outbursts and need physical restraint to give them sedation and calm them. One of the last things an assault victim should have is physical restraint but there are times when you simply have no choice.

This patient had several outbursts for me but hadn't needed any restraint until one of them was escalating beyond any sedation or talking down. I gave it one last try. Determined to calm them without needing to prolonge their ordeal. I knealt down and came in close. I said "listen you have injuries that are healing but every outburst you seem to drop your blood count again. You need to be able to remain calm and trust us." The patient's response was "I know what you say and think about me. All of you. Don't judge me......"

"No one is judging you. You are a patient who has sustained traumatic injuries and we are your caretakers. No one is saying anything about you. Let us take care of you. You need to stay in bed and rest and allow us to do what we need to do keep you from getting worse." The patient finally calmed and agreed to cooperate. I didn't need to force then down or anything. Thank God.

I've been writing this for a few months, but reading Stephanie's blog about trust today made me come back to it. http://stephie5741.blogspot.com/

My niece was emotionally and verbally abused by her husband. He came back from Iraq and was very different. She left and divorced him.

They just remarried in August and left for Germany for 3 years.

I gave her my full support the last time we saw eachother. I told her, "You're 32 and fully responsible for your actions. I'm sure you've heard more criticism than support, but what you need most is support." We talked about my experiences. I told her how my ex would wake me up every night in the middle of the night. I never knew that was abuse, but I knew it wasn't right. After I left I read alot about nonphysical abuse and seeing a therapist, I learned that what he was doing was a typical syptom of abuse. She heard me relay this story and said "My friend tells me about her husband doing that. I never knew." It's just like another control they can have over you. They like to control as many aspects of your life as they can. I think the worst case scenarios are the ones who gain control of every aspect. Especially when you are at your most vulnerable physically and emotionally.

I wanna be Coffee (author unknown)

2009-11-29T08:03:00.000-08:00

(this is an email I recently go and I just couldn't help but share)

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again… A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed thehard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile.
Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after
sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest,
do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE!

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it

Woman's best friend is..................

2009-11-22T20:18:00.001-08:00

Woman's best friend ............................ (revised and edited)

Her vibrator.

He'll never leave his towel on the floor
He'll never cheat on you
He'll never stand you up
He'll never break your heart
He'll make sure you get off before he does
He'll never forget your birthday

I don't care if you are in a committed relationsip or not. Every woman should own one and don't leave home without one. Vacations absolutely call for a toy.

If you are reading any of this and saying
"it doesn't apply to me", beacuse you always have a child around. Hey, men find time at least once a day.

Why do you have to be cheated out of your right?

Seriously a little release of tension makes Mommy a much calmer person.

Get a water proof one for the shower, no one has to know it's not the razor. It could be the stress releaver you need. Try searching for something extra quiet. Manufacturers have gotten very smart about targeting mother's needs.

Quiet, small, discreet ..... Nowadays everything exists. You wouldn't believe the stuff out there.

They aren't gonna show up like this either.........

Shop on the internet. Just google vibrators, or through a reputable supplier such as Slumber Parties.

At a demo you can try stuff out without purchasing.

No, you're not sticking any products into anything other than your hand but maybe a heating lotion sample in the bathroom.

Ahhh, the bathroom, thank god someone invented fancy detachable showerheads.

Bathtime isn't just for the kids.......................

Either way you can actually get a warranty, which leads to replacements for those of us who have to replace a couple times a year.

And as long as your kids understand simple privacy, this will never happen.................

Learn to devote some time to yourself.

Romance yourself. How many times do you put yourself last? Bubble bath and candle lights. You are allowed to spend your "me" time anyway you want to.

For those of us who are single, get a few pilllows. They're good for mounting, when you don't have a body to mount. Masturbation can create a great lead up to a sensual encounter. Use it before a party if you think you're gonna have social anxiety because you don't know anyone. No one has to know that's why you are glowing and so outgoing, yet don't know anyone there. Before a stressful meeting so you can land that deal.

If you are spending $75.00/month for a massage of manicures and not getting the fulfillment you once were, try spending the money that month on something different. It could rescucitate a sexless period in a relationship.

We are all our own worst enemy

2009-11-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

Have you ever said something that wasn't really you but it sort of made you become it?

Doesn't make any sense, I know.

We are all our own worst enemies. Convince ourselves of untruths. We tell ourselves lies all the time that we

"can't do that",
"I'm not good enough to.....",
"First I have to do x, y, z.... before I can a, b, c..."

We put things off and say the timing isn't right, I am not ready for this, need more money first ......

We get a perception in our mind, of perfection. A picture of how it's supposed to be, because we don't really know what the happiness will look like when we achieve whatever it is that we are fantasizing about. This applies to both women and men. Sometimes it's actually right in front of us and we totally miss it. Like the missing glasses on our head. They were right there the whole time and so was the happiness that we just didn't let in, because of our misconcieved perceptions of perfection.

It's truly amazing, the power of suggestion. We are hypnotizing ourselves all the time and leaving subliminal messages. It's horrible what we do to ourselves. We truly are the one thing in our own way of success in this life.

Its kinda like a type casting that you can't get out of. Usually you screw up and then you get put in that box. However when you put yourself there right from the get go its practically impossible to get out of it whether its true at all or a little or not.

I have two horrible extreme case examples from my life I wish I could change.

Example 1, My ex referred to me as his future ex wife, before we were even engaged. It was meant and to a degree recieved in jest, however when all you hear from someone is the jest and none of the real feelings it eventually defines the relationship and becomes all the feelings that person is expressing. I don't even want to delve into the hidden meaning behind him saying that and me accepting it and later marrying him. Rest assured that it affected my subconscious feelings towards him and the build up of resentments that later followed. We did eventually separate and divorce for many reasons including how he treated me. You see, the term became a self fulfilling prophecy for both of us. I'm not saying it alone was responsible, but when I look back at my failed marrriage it best explains how we were both at fault.

Example 2, I told someone my name was Trouble, literally. Again it was just kidding around, but it lead into a conversation of why I called myself trouble. I am not trouble. I am a good person. I am just like everyone else on this planet, trying my best at this thing called life. I called myself trouble because I am very complex and deep. By calling myself trouble, I was just hoping to be a sronger person. Some tough skinned rebel able to face anything and survive only scathing others. Yes, I have made mistakes and have wild side that I occassionally enjoy thoroughly, but I am far from trouble. This person and I became close but it went down in flames eventually and they believe that they knew me and I do believe that it largely had to do with their tainted perception of me as "Trouble", from the get go. No matter how hard I tried to get out of that definition, I couldn't.

So when you scream at yourself after a mistake, "I'm so stupid", "idiot", "dummy". We are just defeating a learning opportunity. This leads back to perceptions of ourselves and other's perceptions of us. These beliefs are reinforced by the things that we say or ..................................................................

We can change these perceptions, even change our realities. Change is very possible and I have figured out the key to it. Believe it, reinforce it..... Stop defeating ourselves from success.

I have heard of this mentality before several times. It's one of the Four Agreements on Don Miguel Ruiz books. Many authors of self help books have addressed this phenomena before.

Just stop and think. How many lies do we tell ourselves every day? Why do we believe that we are sooooo unworthy of anything that is out there for us? If you want to go do x, y, or z. There is NOTHING stoppng you but yourself.

Good Eats!

2009-11-19T06:58:00.000-08:00

I love food. Every aspect of it. There is something about good food that just feels like home, especially around the holidays. Being the youngest of 8, even when we have a small gathering it's still big. So to feed alot of people there needs to be alot of food. It also helps that we are all good cooks :)

I have only made a Thanksgiving dinner myself once. The key is in the timing. You need to be organized and plan ahead to have everything arrive to the table still warm and fully cooked yet not over cooked. You definitely need to pace yourself and not get frazzled either. I learned a long time ago that rushing good food RUINS it!! On that note I sooooo miss cooking, but I've gotten used to being single and I can't stand wasting food. So I really don't cook as much as I used to.

My one tip for turkey is a paste I make with olive oil and butter and assorted seasonings. Depending on the mood I might vary the seasoning on chicken but for turkey I use poultry seasonings. For fun if there is time I will make butter pats ahead in candy molds. Little turkeys. They're so cute!

So here's my recipes for my Mom's stuffing and my signature white chocolate cheesecake.

Elsie's Stuffing

2 loaves of King white bread
2 lbs of sausage
1/2 lb margarine
1 whole bunch celery
4 lg onions
3 T poultry seasonings
2 t thyme
2 T parsley
4 beaten eggs
1 T garlic powder
2 t salt
1 t pepper
1 qt chicken broth

2 weeks ahead dice 2 loaves of bread and put in 2 brown bags to dry. Shake bags daily. Take the skin off of the sausage and cut up into pan and brown slowly. Take out and chop coarsely in food processor. Leave fat in pan and add maragarine and allow to melt. Chop celery and onions coarsely in food processor and saute til clear. Add sausage and broth then suate 10 minutes. Add onions, celery and sausage to bread cubes in large roasting pan. Add eggs and half of soup then seasonings and mix. If bread is dry add soup until wet. Can freeze in foil or bake right away next to turkey never inside. Bake at 350 for 1 hour.

White Chocolate Cheesecake

I love vanilla and sweets, so I always add extra vanilla to this and my cut out cookies. A sign of a good recipe is when the paper is stained with the foods and it's aromas like this one is. reminds me of my childrens books growing up and how they always wound up in the kitchen stained with vanilla when I would steal the beaters to lick after my mom was done with them.

4 packages cream cheese softened to room temperature
1 c sugar
1/2 c sour cream
6 large eggs
1/3 c whipping cream
8 oz white chocolate
1 T vanilla extract

Allow all ingredients to sit to come to room temperature. Get quality white chocolate if you can. Giardelli is always good. Melt until there are still a few chunks and sit aside to cool down but not harden it will continue to melt further and you may want some small chunks of chocolate in the cheesecake. Chocolate can be melted in double boiler, or microwave. Be careful to melt slowly 30 seconds at a time in microwave. If you don't have a double boiler use a small pot for chocolate over a large pot of boiling water, just be absolutely carfeul not to allow any water at all into the chocolate!

Heat oven to 350 and wrap the exterior of a 10 inch springform pan with double thickness alunminum foil. This step is to allow the cheesecake to bake in a water bath, so the foil is to keep any water from seeping into it while it bakes. The water bath keeps it from cracking, a very common occurence with cheesecakes. Have a large lasagna pan with water ready to fit the springform pan into later when ready to bake.

Beat cream cheese until soft. Add sugar and beat until smooth. Add sour cream and mix until smoooth again. Beat in eggs 2 at a time. Add cream and mix well. Beat in chocolate add vanilla and mix well. Be careful with modern mixers, they tend to overbeat and be too powerful, so stop the mixer in between steps. Place mixture into springform pan, then place pan in water bath with enough water to come up the sides about a 1/8 inch. Bake until set but still wiggles in center alittle bit about 1hour and 35 minutes. I always find I need alot more time than that but stoves vary. Be very careful when removing from oven because of the hot water. Remove from bath right away and allow to cool for 30 minutes. Then refrigerate til cold.

And don't forget to be thankful! There is always always always something to be thankful for.

Need a change?

2009-11-18T13:20:00.001-08:00

As a kid growing up, my parents did something I never knew anyone else to do.

Rearrange furniture.....................

In the Spring the tv and couch would switch places and the rest kind of just found spots around the room. In the Fall vice versa. I suppose it had something to do with heating, sunlight, and door/window accessability. Really how often do you open the windows in the Winter, unless you're me but it still doesn't stop me. Then you're just gonna have to make room for a Christmas tree eventually so why not do it ahead before the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

It reenergizes a room. Kind of starts things fresh.

It's recommended for you if you are going through anything difficult. A breakup, can't find a job, life changing events.......

I love changing things around. Different is always good. When you get stuck in a rut, variety can give you a great new perspective along with a euphoria. The adrenaline rush of moving heavy furniture doesn't hurt either. Lol.

Since I live in a tiny one bedroom apartment and hadn't planned on staying here this long I have put it off for over 2 years. I have an enormous sectional, so no matter what I do I'm still pretty cramped, but today I did it and it feels GREAT!!!!

Try it. Even just one room, a drawer, a closet..... It feels so good.

Infidelity is not only for villains

2009-11-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

I just saw Cosi Fan Tutte. It means "thus do they all". It's an opera by Mozart. A friend bets two soldiers that even their very own sworn ladies in waiting would turn on their fiances and become unfaithful in their absence. He tells them to pretend to go off to War. Meanwhile they would disguise themselves and go after opposite fiances as scoundrel suitors feeding on their grief that their loves have gone off to War. The women protest and defend their own valour with grace and devotion but ...... They eventually are worn down and give in and in fact decide to marry these men and move away immediately.

Thing is everybody is capable of cheating. When I was young and first learning of what infidelity is, I didn't understand it. It is a very adult and complex concept. There are far too many variables. When I was young the only people I knew of who cheated were always bad people. The villains in movies or the villains in the world that others spoke of .... You know, the neighbor down the street, the lady at the hairsalon that everyone whispered about, my very own grandfather cheated and divorced my grandmother in the 1930's, the slutty people in high school with reputations.

Late in life as I got older I realized it's just not that simple to say that anyone's character is poor or weak of they have ever been unfaithful to another. It's wrong and unfair. What's that quote? "Judge not lest ye be judged themselves" or walk a mile in another persons shoes. I could think of worse acts people can commit against others and believe it or not even in those situations you still don't know what really happened. I'm not saying any of it isn't wrong and that people shouldn't fess up and apologize and repent. 75% of the people I know of cheating right now are actually really good people who always said they would never do it. I myself crossed forbidden lines while married. Only years after I was destroyed by a boyfriend's infidelity.

I think alot of this all ties back to something that came up in CC's blog. Expectations. People need to not live in a fairy tale world. We have to see through the eyes of reality. I'm not saying love is dead. I don't want love to be dead, just as much as all the overly romantic people who wear their hearts on their sleeve, don't want love to be dead either. As long as people break out of these dumb fairy tale molds, "real" and lasting true love can be possible. Realize that the stories are nice and appreciate that the grand gestures are beautiful, but that it takes more than just a few hours, weeks or months and words shared to be special and rise above everything that failed in the past. Communication and understanding what eachother wants. Enjoying what it is at the time, because not every love is truly long lasting. It doesn't devalue it. It's still love. There is nothing wrong with it not being forever. Look at all the forevers out there who are just being fooled. We live in an instant gratification world and true and lasting love is actually quite patient and boring from the outsiders view. Maybe that's why those outsiders are going onto their third "Mr. or Mrs. Right" while the original couple is actually finally reaching that level of reality, past all the outrageous expectations. Maybe that couple even dealt with infidelity. In the right couple infidelity will actually give them strength and renew their love all that much more.